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| What happened to the man who fell into an upholstery machine? |
He's fully recovered now. |
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| Do pilots get colds? |
No, flew. |
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| Why didn't Little Johnny hurt himself when he fell and struck the piano? |
He hit the soft pedal. |
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| How should you treat a baby goat? |
Like a kid. |
corresponding 'Baby Goat' puzzle @ suJoku.com
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| What ship praises God? |
Worship |
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| What beam weighs the least? |
A light beam. |
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| When is a person not a person? |
When he's a little cross. |
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| What pipe never smokes? |
A bagpipe |
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| If a telegraph operator from California married a telephone operator from Arizona, what would they become? |
A western union. |
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| Why is the heart a good musical instrument? |
It has a good beat. |
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| I have a deck but can't play cards. What am I? |
A ship |
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| Can a shoe box? |
No, but a tin can. |
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| What's French for 'I am an Australian'? |
Moi Aussi |
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| If two vampires had a race, who would win? |
Neither - they would finish neck and neck |
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| How did Little Johnny prove he has a very smart dog? |
Little Johnny asked his dog (Fido), 'How much is 200 minus 200?' and sure enough, Fido said nothing. |
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| What overpowers you, without hurting you? |
Sleep |
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| What kind of key opens a casket? |
A skeleton key. |
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| What did the disgruntled bricklayer do? |
He threw in the trowel. |
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| What do beekeepers come down with? |
Hives |
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| What kind of tie does a pig wear? |
A pigsty |
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| How do you make a weather vane? |
Keep giving it compliments. |
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| What do you get when you cross a wedding with a cliff? |
A marriage that is on the rocks. |
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| Why is my wife a magnetic person? |
Everything she picks up, she charges. |
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| Spell extra wise in two letters. |
YY |
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| Why doesn't Sweden import cattle from other countries? |
Because it keeps a good Stockholm. |
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| What makes a road broad? |
The letter 'B' |
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| Why won't the Earth come to an end? |
Because it's round. |
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| What happened to the two bedbugs who fell in love? |
They got married in the spring. |
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| What odd number becomes even when beheaded? |
Seven (s / even). |
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| What demands an answer without asking a question? |
A telephone. |
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| Joe walks into a restaurant for lunch. He asks the waitress if she is good at solving puzzles. She replies, "I am the best." So Joe says, "I'll have sausage and noodles drenched with ice cream, hashed. And if you bring me what I really want, I'll leave you a $100 tip." A few minutes later she brought him exactly what he wanted, and he left her the large tip. What did Joe eat for lunch? |
A sandwich (the first letters of what Joe ordered). |
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| What's the difference between a bird with one wing and a bird with two wings? |
A difference of a pinion. |
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| What's a horse's motto? |
You get what you neigh for. |
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| What do you call a Mom or Dad you can see through? |
Transparent |
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| What kind of angel was Noah? |
An ark angel. |
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| What's the most common remark made by retirees in an antique shop? |
I remember that. |
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| What kind of bird hunt is never successful? |
A wild goose chase. |
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| How many seabirds does it take to change a lightbulb? |
About three or four terns ought to do the trick. |
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| When do Doctors get angry? |
When they run out of patients. |
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| What key has legs and can't open doors? |
A turkey. |
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| The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they? |
Footsteps |
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| How can I tie a knot in a piece of string without letting go of either of the ends? |
By picking up the string with my arms folded and then unfolding them |
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| Thirty white horses on a red hill. First they champ, then they stamp, then they stand still. What are they? |
Teeth |
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| What contains the most vitamins? |
A health food store. |
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| Why is your hand like a hardware store? |
Because it carries nails. |
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| What colourful letter can you eat? |
A brown e. |
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| What dog does not bark no matter what you do to him? |
A hot dog |
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| What kind of button can't you unbutton? |
A belly button. |
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| How can you climb Mount Everest without getting tired? |
Be born on top. |
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| What does a conceited optometrist call himself? |
An I Doctor. |
see this riddle in Riddle Sudoku format @ suJoku.com
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| What bus crossed the ocean? |
Columbus |
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| Where can you always find health, wealth and happiness? |
In the dictionary. |
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| How do you turn a sparrow into a weapon? |
Remove the 's' and the 'p' |
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| What was the Titanic shivering for? |
It was a nervous wreck. |
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| What cake is as hard as rock? |
Marble cake. |
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| If every dog has his day, what does a dog with a broken tail have? |
A weekend. |
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| If your dog's down, what's your cat? |
Catsup |
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| Is it better for a woman to love a short or a tall man? |
Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall. |
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| Who are the best letter writers? |
Fishermen - they'll always drop you a line. |
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| How can you change a pumpkin into another vegetable? |
Throw it down to the ground and it becomes squash. |
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| When should you read a travel book backwards? |
On the return journey. |
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| What nation does creativity come from? |
Your imagi-nation |
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| What does the Joe-kster use a knife for? |
To sharpen his wit. |
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| Why won't sharks attack lawyers? |
Professional courtesy. |
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| What's the longest rock in the world? |
A milestone. |
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| What vegetable comes with a free racket? |
Squash |
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| A horse is tied to a 15 metre rope and there is a bail of hay 25 metres away from him. Although this is so, the horse is able to eat from the bail of hay. How is this possible? |
The rope isn't tied to anything. |
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| When is the ocean friendliest? |
When it waves. |
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| What's the largest can in the world? |
Canada |
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| Why can't you take a photograph of a Chinese woman with hair curlers? |
You need a camera to take a photograph, not hair curlers |
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| Why did the shapes disappear? |
Because they were polygons. |
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| What kind of friends do tongues have? |
Taste buds |
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| What country in the world has the highest road casualty rate? |
Poland - we often hear about people hitting Poles. |
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| What do you call an angry boy? |
A mad lad. |
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| If it takes six people six days to dig six holes, how long will it take one person to dig half a hole? |
There is no such thing as half a hole. |
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| What happened when David hit Goliath? |
He knocked him stone cold. |
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| What does even the most careful person overlook? |
Their nose. |
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| What do scientists do after they discover a new gene? |
They cell-ebrate. |
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| Why is it cheap to feed a giraffe? |
A little food goes a long way. |
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| What has fingers and thumbs but no arms? |
Gloves |
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| I run all day long but never leave your house. What am I? |
A refrigerator |
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| What's a barber's motto? |
Hairy today, gone tomorrow. |
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| Why is the shopping so good in Hawaii? |
There are isle after isle of savings. |
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| What girl collects money for the needy? |
Charity |
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| How can you prove that a man has three heads? |
(A) No man has two heads;
(B) A man has one head more than no man;
(C) Therefore a man has three heads. |
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| How can you keep a barking dog quiet? |
With hush puppies. |
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| In which month do dogs bark the least? |
February - it's the shortest month. |
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| What kind of phone can be heard but not talked into? |
A xylophone |
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| What is an egomaniac's favourite ice cream? |
Vain-illa. |
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| Why should you leave your watch at home when you take an airplane? |
Because time flies anyway. |
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| What type of sandals do frogs wear? |
Open toad |
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| The more you crack me, the more people like you. What am I? |
A smile. |
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| What do secret agents invest their money in? |
James Bonds. |
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| When can you step on blades with bare feet and not cut yourself? |
When they're blades of grass. |
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| What has ears but can't hear a thing? |
A cornfield. |
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| A father and mother have six sons and each son has one sister. How many people are in that family? |
Nine - one father, one mother, six sons, and one daughter. |
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| What fish tastes good with peanut butter? |
A jelly fish. |
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| When is a baseball catcher like a farmer? |
When he chases a foul. |
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| What do aliens rest their teacups on? |
Flying saucers. |
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| What kind of pool has no water? |
A carpool. |
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