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Stephen Colbert pitches the “Late Show” on CBS





Welcome to Stephen Colbert who steps in as host, executive producer and writer of CBS’ “The Late Show” on September 8, 2015

QuotaBills
Precision is not reality. - Henri Matisse

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

In television blood is thicker than talent. - Gerald F Lieberman

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

When I was your age, television was called books. - William Goldman

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Sometimes reality is too complex. Stories give it form. - Jean Luc Godard

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. - Jules de Gaultier

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. - Fred Allen

When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time. - Byron Katie

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - David Letterman

O all you host of heaven! O earth! What else? And shall I couple Hell? - William Shakespeare

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

It is only hope which is real, and reality is a bitterness and a deceit. - William Makepeace Thackeray

The reality is you either step into the future, or you become a dinosaur. - M Shadows

Design is about discipline and reality, not about fantasy beyond reality. - Albert Hadley

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? - Al Boliska

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

It takes hunger, tenacity and commitment to see a dream through until it becomes a reality. - John C Maxwell

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

As it takes two to make a quarrel, so it takes two to make a disease, the microbe and its host. - Charles V. Chapin

Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. - Helen Keller

When you expect good, it's available constantly, and it makes itself a reality in your life. - Alfre Woodard

The reality of professional skateboarding contests is that they're not relevant in our world. - Rob Dyrdek

The masses are in reality their own leaders, dialectically creating their own development process. - Rosa Luxemburg

Our fears are more numerous than our dangers, and we suffer more in our imagination than in reality. - Seneca

Morality binds and blinds. It binds us into teams... but thereby makes us go blind to objective reality. - Jonathan Haidt

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Every video I'm in, every magazine cover, they stretch you, they make you perfect. It's not real life. - Lady Gaga

Remembering is a gift - a silent gift, because it roots us in reality while at the same time pointing us towards eternity. - Raphael Anzenberger

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white. - Russell Peters

The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant. - Max DePree

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

One supreme fact which I have discovered is that it is not willpower but imagination that creates. Imagination creates reality. - Richard Wagner

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

In our society those who are in reality superior in intelligence can be accepted by their fellows only if they pretend they are not. - Marya Mannes

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or who says it. - Malcolm X

More people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting. - Stephen Covey


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15-Jan-2021