Breaking News Report
What’s considered news-worthy in Canada these days

A Harley biker is riding by the Toronto zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage, and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents who thank him endlessly. A reporter had watched the entire event. The reporter said to the Harley rider, “Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.”

The Harley rider replies, “Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.”

The reporter says, “Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist with the Star you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page. So, tell me, what do you do for a living and what political affiliations do you have?”

The biker replies, “I’m a Canadian Soldier and a Conservative.”

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper out of curiosity to see if it, indeed, brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:

CANADIAN SOLDIER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH!

And that pretty much sums up the media’s approach to the news these days.


Canadians endure endless empty political promises, gerrymandering,
and poor news reporting as the countdown approaches for the
October 19th Canadian Federal Election

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09-Dec-2019