An elderly Ukrainian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Ukrainian perogies with fried onions wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. If not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table was literally hundreds of his favourite perogies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his Ukrainian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the perogies was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered man trembled on his way to the perogies at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.
“Back off!” she said. “They’re for the funeral.”
A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb
There ain't no such thing as wrong food. - Sean Stewart
What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz
I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
Food is our common ground, a universal experience. - James Beard
Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate. - Alan D Wolfe
Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable
An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy
Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child
My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers
I think about food literally all day every day. It's a thing. - Taylor Swift
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright
If any of you cry at my funeral I'll never speak to you again. - Stan Laurel
I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell
I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen
Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown
People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs
Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme
I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor
The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines
I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain
By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock
America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown
Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke
No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro
If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor
I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock
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23-Jan-2021 |