Ukrainian Perogies

When you can hardly wait for your next plate of perogies


An elderly Ukrainian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Ukrainian perogies with fried onions wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. If not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table was literally hundreds of his favourite perogies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his Ukrainian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the perogies was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered man trembled on his way to the perogies at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.

“Back off!” she said. “They’re for the funeral.”


QuotaBills
I hid myself in food. - Gordon Ramsay

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

Food is our common ground, a universal experience. - James Beard

Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience. - Guy Fieri

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food. - Sally Edwards

Most fat food is fried. Fried food tastes great, and people don't seem to care about the fat aspect. - Eric Schlosser

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


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02-Jun-2020