A N T I B O Y O T I C S When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on makeup. A N T I T A L K S I D E N T A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators. B U Y A G R A Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree. D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. D U B M E R O L  (or for non-Joe-ksters:  D U M B E R O L) When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out. F L I P I T O R Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. J A C K A S S P I R I N Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat. M E N I C I L L I N Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, “You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?” N A G A M E N T When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him. P E P T O B I M B O Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. S E X C E D R I N More effective than Excedrin in treating the “Not now, Dear, I have a headache” syndrome. ST. M O M M A ’ S    W O R T Plant extract that treats Mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days. Send these to any woman who needs a good laugh - and any man who can handle it... see also   Doctor,  Feminist  &  Medical  Sections Happy Periods Menopause Sucks New Drugs For Men PMS PMS Guide for Male Attraction   Teethbrushes Dinner Preparation: Here's looking at you! Picture Perfect Same Mistake Twice How To Build A Fence Horse-Back Riding Social Distancing Fine Burnout Indication Lost Luggage A Balanced Diet Bowen Arrow Business School Basics Broken Potted Plant Art Fish Hat Fairy Soap Floor Legs Microscopic Reader Brief Case Hairstyle Of The Year Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad

29-May-2020