A father and son went hunting together for the first time.
The father said, “Stay here and be very QUIET. I’ll be across the field.”
A few minutes later, the father heard a bloodcurdling scream and ran back to his son.
“What’s wrong?” the father asked. “I told you to be quiet!”
The son answered, “Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. I didn’t move a muscle when the skunk climbed over my shoulder. I closed my eyes and held my breath when the wasp stung me. I didn’t cough when I swallowed the gnat. I didn’t cuss or scratch when the poison oak started itching. But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and said, “Should we eat them here, or take them with us?” Well, I just panicked!”
Even snakes are afraid of snakes. - Steven Wright
As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. - Proverb
A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb
I'd rather write about polar bears than people. - Mary Oliver
Don't get into a stinking contest with a skunk. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself. - Abraham Lincoln
It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams
The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune. - Plutarch
Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds
If Adam and Eve were alive today, they would probably sue the snake. - Bern Williams
When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying
If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes. - H. Ross Perot
Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bum steers. - Olin Miller
It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you. - Unknown
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci
The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle
The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan
see also Animal & Hunting Sections
Anaconda Attack Manual - Be Prepared!
Australian Sheep Farm - Herding Down Under
“BIG” Texas Rattlesnake
Blind Bunny
Confined Space Teamwork in Africa
Copperhead Tree
Empty Birdhouse
Fast Food in Beijing
Fishing Trip With Jack
Green Garden Grass Snakes Can Be Dangerous
Heavy Meal Deal
Hand Painting Par Excellence
Huge Dead Snake
IRS Toothpaste
Leaping Lizards!
Let Me In - I’m Hungry
My Dad Works With Snakes
New Arizona State Flag
Only In Thailand - Time To Clean The Pet Snake
Rattlesnake Outhouse
Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils
Snake Bite
Snake Leather
Snake Map
Snake Math
Snake Noodling
Snakenophobia
Tennessee Pro - Safety Tips for Dummies
They Found Your Balls
Wabbits
Why I Was Late For Work
Workplace Hazards in Tasmania
Yellow Pet
 Impossible Object |  2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3) |  Blinker Fluid |  Dutch Rollerblades |  Goat Tree |
 Mind The Pedestrians |  Trapped in the 5th Dimension |  Job Retraining |  Wet Floor Caution |  Chef Multitasking |
 Camera Waterfall |  Irony Pin |  Cellfies |  Where Safety Begins |  Bad Ass Fire Truck |
14-Dec-2019 |