A New York stockbroker had made millions of dollars for an Arabian oil sheik. The sheik was so pleased he offered him rubies, gold, and a silver-plated Rolls-Royce. He declined the gifts, telling the sheik that he had merely done his job. But the sheik insisted.
“Well,” the broker said, “I’ve recently taken up golf. A set of golf clubs would be a fine gift.”
Weeks went by. One morning the broker received a letter from him.
“So far I have bought you three golf clubs,” it said, “but I hope you will not be disappointed because only two of them have swimming pools.”
I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player
You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke
Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane
Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin
Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers
Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown
Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham
Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower
In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown
Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown
Good Sportsmanship: Not picking up lost golf balls while they are still rolling - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer
If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan
Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway
Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player
You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke
Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane
Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin
Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers
Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown
Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham
Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower
In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown
Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown
Good Sportsmanship: Not picking up lost golf balls while they are still rolling - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer
If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan
Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway
Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump
see also Financial & Golf Sections
Golf Like I Do
Men’s Golf Rules
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03-Jul-2022 |