A New York stockbroker had made millions of dollars for an Arabian oil sheik. The sheik was so pleased he offered him rubies, gold, and a silver-plated Rolls-Royce. He declined the gifts, telling the sheik that he had merely done his job. But the sheik insisted.
“Well,” the broker said, “I’ve recently taken up golf. A set of golf clubs would be a fine gift.”
Weeks went by. One morning the broker received a letter from him.
“So far I have bought you three golf clubs,” it said, “but I hope you will not be disappointed because only two of them have swimming pools.”
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain
All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player
Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse
Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead
Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells
Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros
Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown
Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown
If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer
Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham
You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump
Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower
They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd
Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer
If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan
The biggest battle is never on the field, the fairway, the diamond or rink: it's in your mind. - Carey Neuhoff
I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg
Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway
Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown
One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods
Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill
Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden
Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump
All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player
Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse
Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead
Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells
Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros
Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown
Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown
If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer
Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham
You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump
Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower
They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd
Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer
If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan
The biggest battle is never on the field, the fairway, the diamond or rink: it's in your mind. - Carey Neuhoff
I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg
Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway
Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown
One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods
Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill
Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden
Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump
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Men’s Golf Rules
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27-May-2020 |