A New York stockbroker had made millions of dollars for an Arabian oil sheik. The sheik was so pleased he offered him rubies, gold, and a silver-plated Rolls-Royce. He declined the gifts, telling the sheik that he had merely done his job. But the sheik insisted.
“Well,” the broker said, “I’ve recently taken up golf. A set of golf clubs would be a fine gift.”
Weeks went by. One morning the broker received a letter from him.
“So far I have bought you three golf clubs,” it said, “but I hope you will not be disappointed because only two of them have swimming pools.”
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain
All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb
I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player
You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke
Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane
Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse
Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead
Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown
Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros
Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown
If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer
Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford
One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter
In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown
Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones
Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer
If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster
They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan
The biggest battle is never on the field, the fairway, the diamond or rink: it's in your mind. - Carey Neuhoff
Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx
The biggest thing is just routine. I think that's the biggest correlation between golfers and basketball players. - Stephen Curry
One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden
Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump
All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb
I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player
You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke
Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane
Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse
Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead
Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown
Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros
Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown
If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer
Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford
One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter
In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown
Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones
Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer
If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster
They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan
The biggest battle is never on the field, the fairway, the diamond or rink: it's in your mind. - Carey Neuhoff
Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx
The biggest thing is just routine. I think that's the biggest correlation between golfers and basketball players. - Stephen Curry
One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden
Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump
see also Financial & Golf Sections
Golf Like I Do
Men’s Golf Rules
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15-May-2021 |