A woman goes to the dentist to fix an annoying tooth ache.
As the dentist leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his crotch.
The dentist says, “Madam, I believe you’ve got a hold of my privates.”
The woman replies, “Yes. Now, we’re going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren’t we?”
Floss like a boss! - Unknown
Keep calm and floss on. - Unknown
The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown
Too much freedom can lead to the soul's decay. - Prince
Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko
Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. - William R. Alger
Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache. - Mae West
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. - Oscar Wilde
Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice
Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown
Careful thinking and hard work will solve nearly all your problems. - Ullery
The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw
Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson
It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown
Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown
A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. - Kurt Vonnegut
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level. - Max L. Forman
An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter
I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence
Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown
For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare
Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl
Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain
A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen
I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay
Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice
It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby
You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney
Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer
The best and cheapest dentistry is when the right thing is done extremely well the first time and it lasts. - Unknown
Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown
All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno
Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw
Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis
In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache. - Garrison Keillor
To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz
Keep calm and floss on. - Unknown
The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown
Too much freedom can lead to the soul's decay. - Prince
Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko
Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. - William R. Alger
Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache. - Mae West
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. - Oscar Wilde
Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice
Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown
Careful thinking and hard work will solve nearly all your problems. - Ullery
The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw
Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson
It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown
Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown
A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. - Kurt Vonnegut
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level. - Max L. Forman
An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter
I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence
Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown
For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare
Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl
Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain
A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen
I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay
Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice
It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby
You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney
Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer
The best and cheapest dentistry is when the right thing is done extremely well the first time and it lasts. - Unknown
Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown
All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno
Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw
Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis
In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache. - Garrison Keillor
To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz
see also Dentist Section
Dentist Bowling
Dentist Talk
“No Time For Anesthetic” Golfer
Pet Dentist
Staff Teeth
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19-Feb-2020 |