A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital.
“How are you grandpa?” he asks.
“Feeling fine,” says the old man.
“What’s the food like?”
“Terrific, wonderful menus.”
“And the nursing?”
“Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses really take care of you.”
“What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?”
“Absolutely no problem! At 10 o’clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra and that’s it. I go out like a light. Nine hours solid, every night.”
The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so he rushes off to question the nurse in charge.
“What are you people doing,” he says, “I am told that you are giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can’t be true?”
“Oh, yes,” replies the nurse. “Every night at 10 o’clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The hot chocolate makes him sleep like a baby, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed.”
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
see also Aging, Medical & Nurse Sections
Better With Viagra
Cat Clinic
Coffee And Viagra
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
New Drugs For Men
Tiagra
Viagra Elephant
Viagra Overdose
Viagra Switch
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29-Jul-2021 |