A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital.
“How are you grandpa?” he asks.
“Feeling fine,” says the old man.
“What’s the food like?”
“Terrific, wonderful menus.”
“And the nursing?”
“Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses really take care of you.”
“What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?”
“Absolutely no problem! At 10 o’clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra and that’s it. I go out like a light. Nine hours solid, every night.”
The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so he rushes off to question the nurse in charge.
“What are you people doing,” he says, “I am told that you are giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can’t be true?”
“Oh, yes,” replies the nurse. “Every night at 10 o’clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The hot chocolate makes him sleep like a baby, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed.”
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
see also Aging, Medical & Nurse Sections
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Cat Clinic
Coffee And Viagra
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New Drugs For Men
Tiagra
Viagra Elephant
Viagra Overdose
Viagra Switch
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26-May-2022 |