Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder... I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK, I’m going to do the laundry... BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack.... BUT FIRST.... I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook? Oops! there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for that checkbook... BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put it away... BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! stepped on the cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants... BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat. END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control... And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because...I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious... I’d get help... BUT FIRST... I think I’ll check my e-mail. QuotaBills Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer The paradigm of treating menopause symptoms with the lowest effective dose of hormone therapy, for the shortest period necessary, is very sensible. - Hugh Taylor see also   Aging  &  Medical  Sections A. A. A. D. D. Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s? Dreams Come True   Tight Fit Life Is Beautiful Buddha Pear Yes! Sunday Service Social Distancing Mannequin Pointer Life's Choices Two Of Each Napoleon Tomorrow You Turn ThaiTanic The Future of Social Media Tartan Headphones Husband Quarantine Aussie Salad Greta on Chopsticks Darkness Eliminator Don't Touch Your Face Pet Dentist

29-Mar-2020