Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder... I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK, I’m going to do the laundry... BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack.... BUT FIRST.... I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook? Oops! there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for that checkbook... BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put it away... BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! stepped on the cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants... BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat. END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control... And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because...I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious... I’d get help... BUT FIRST... I think I’ll check my e-mail. QuotaBills Clinic: House of pill repute. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Nature is cheaper than therapy. - M P Zarrella A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles Aging: 1. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. A one-way street with no stoplights. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com see also   Aging  &  Medical  Sections A. A. A. D. D. 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25-Jun-2022