I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder...
I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK,
I’m going to do the laundry... BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I
notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack....
BUT FIRST.... I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be
paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook?
Oops! there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for
BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the
window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and
there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put
BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! stepped on the
cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants...
BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat.
END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the
sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control...
And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because...I
KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition is serious... I’d get help...
BUT FIRST... I think I’ll check my e-mail.
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx
Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
The paradigm of treating menopause symptoms with the lowest effective dose of hormone therapy, for the shortest period necessary, is very sensible. - Hugh Taylor
Aging & Medical Sections
A. A. A. D. D.
Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s?
Dreams Come True
Life Is Beautiful
Sunday Service Social Distancing
Two Of Each
The Future of Social Media
Greta on Chopsticks
Don't Touch Your Face