Texas Toilet Paper Holder

Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Guns have only two enemies - rust and politicians. - Unknown

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Shooting Star: A famous actor who uses his gun too often - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

There's something fundamentally wrong with bringing a knife to a gun fight. - Sean Connery

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

It's better to have a gun and need it, than to not have a gun and not need it. - Ricky

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure. - Lyndon B Johnson

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com