Texas Toilet Paper Holder

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure. - Lyndon B Johnson

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim