Redneck Hands-Free Driving

Dead Ringer: A disconnected telephone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I do everything on my phone as a lot of people do. - Mark Zuckerberg

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck. - Jim Denny

Life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time it's in your hand. - Unknown

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it. - Dave Chappelle

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole. - Unknown

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

People are prisoners of their phones; that's why it's called a 'cell' phone. - Unknown

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

The main Facebook usage is so big. About 20 percent of the time people spend on their phone is on Facebook. - Mark Zuckerberg

Phonesia: The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. - Ambrose Bierce

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? - Stephen Levine

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown