Redneck Hands-Free Driving

Dead Ringer: A disconnected telephone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

I do everything on my phone as a lot of people do. - Mark Zuckerberg

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

Quarterback: What you'll never get if you misdial from a pay phone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

Life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time it's in your hand. - Unknown

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it. - Dave Chappelle

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole. - Unknown

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

People are prisoners of their phones; that's why it's called a 'cell' phone. - Unknown

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

E-mails are letters, after all, more lasting than phone calls, even if many of them r 2 cursory 4 u. - Anna Quindlen

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

The main Facebook usage is so big. About 20 percent of the time people spend on their phone is on Facebook. - Mark Zuckerberg

Phonesia: The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake