![]() ![]() Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope In the ant's house, the dew is a flood. - Danish Proverb A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland Choose your neighbor before you buy your house. - African Proverb Peace and a well-built house cannot be bought too dearly. - Danish Proverb Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path. - Ralph Waldo Emerson Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace The most important thing about batting is getting the bat to hit the ball. - Michael Holding In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. - Jay Leno If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules H Poincare This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon see also Bat & House Sections Aussie Batman Baby Bat Bartman Bat Cat Bat Control Bat Flight Bat Flying Blind Bat Man Cave Bat Shade Batman Beard Batman Equation Batman Recession Batman Wannabes Batmobile Parade But I’m Batman Drying Bats Medieval Batman Pet Bat Secret Revealed Vampire Drinks Vantastic |
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