Bat House

A house divided against itself cannot stand. - Abraham Lincoln

Vampire Bat: What Dracula uses to play baseball - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

He's got that big house to maintain in San Clemency. - Archie Bunker

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. - Portuguese Proverb

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

It's a sad house where the hen crows louder than the cock. - Scottish Proverb

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

Give a landlord an inch and he'll build an apartment house. - American Proverb

Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. - WC Fields

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. - Jay Leno

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots. - Ozzy Osbourne

You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal. - Zig Ziglar

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

At this late hour a wagon has been procured, and I have had it filled with plate and the most valuable portable articles, belonging to the house. - Dolly Madison

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan