Bat House

A full mind is an empty baseball bat. - Branch Rickey

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland

Choose your neighbor before you buy your house. - African Proverb

Vampire Bat: What Dracula uses to play baseball - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

The most important thing about batting is getting the bat to hit the ball. - Michael Holding

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. - WC Fields

Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm. - Oscar Wilde

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright

No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days. - Plautus

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

Eden is that old-fashioned house
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away. - Emily Dickinson

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan