Bat House

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

A full mind is an empty baseball bat. - Branch Rickey

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

Choose your neighbor before you buy your house. - African Proverb

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible

He's got that big house to maintain in San Clemency. - Archie Bunker

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. - WC Fields

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm. - Oscar Wilde

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots. - Ozzy Osbourne

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is not more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules Poincare

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon