Ode To Flatulence

Poetry ‘in motion’


A fart - it is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease;
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud;
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long;
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song.

A fart can create
A most curious medley;
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile;
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while.

A fart can occur
In a number of places;
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us
Sooner or later.

But ‘farts are all bad’,
Is simply not true -
We must never forget
Sweet old farts like you!


QuotaBills
Religion altars the mind. - Tony Follari

Politics is war by other measures. - Steve Bannon

Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

Self-government won't work without self-discipline. - Paul Harvey

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Government cannot and must not replace private initiative. - Kim Campbell

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

I see religion more as a truck stop on your way to figuring out who you are. - Brad Pitt

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. - Caskie Stinnett

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

I'm not interested in cutting the feet off my characters or stretching them to make them fit my certain political view. - Margaret Atwood

It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett

We're at a point in history where everyone needs to pay attention to politics. Too much is at stake for us to be apathetic. - Kevin Costner

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


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15-May-2021