Ode To Flatulence

Poetry ‘in motion’


A fart - it is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease;
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud;
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long;
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song.

A fart can create
A most curious medley;
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile;
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while.

A fart can occur
In a number of places;
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us
Sooner or later.

But ‘farts are all bad’,
Is simply not true -
We must never forget
Sweet old farts like you!


QuotaBills
Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

Man is incurably religious. - Ravi Zacharias

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. - Charlton Heston

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means. - Zhou Enlai

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. - Warren Buffett

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power. - Aldous Huxley

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

The secret of political bargaining is to look more strong than what you really are. - Subhash Bose

Later, he told his nephew that religion required careful thought, not reflexive acceptance. - Thomas Jefferson

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

Reporter: "How many people work at the Vatican?"
Pope John XXIII: "About half." - Pope John XXIII

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov


see also   Flatulent  &  Relationship  Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Bathroom Diving
Car Surgeon
Chewing Gum Hazard
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Constipated Mathematician
Did Philip Fart?
Dog Proctologist
Exhaust-Free Park
Exhausting Gyne Work
Exhausting or Amewzing?
Fart Facts
Flatulence Problem
German Flatulence Control
Gun Exhaust
Iraqi Olympic Diving Team
Japanese Diving Platform
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
Stork Exhaust
Wet Suit Danger

 

Whiskey Jig

Redneck Mercedes

Hala Fruit

Hydro Water Power

Selfie Shoes

Tons Of Anarchy

Science World

Da Hood Shirt

What Do You See? - Part III

ThaiTanic

Aging Mermaid

Get Along Shirt

Bruce Lee Coffee

Dry Satellite

Carving The Turkey

Don't Break The Window

Nike Coffin

Redneck Ladder

Proof of Global Warming

Leading a Remote Life
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

19-Oct-2020