For Sale - One Useless Cat

All art is quite useless. - Oscar Wilde

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Useless laws weaken necessary laws. - Charles de Secondat

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

All that is not eternal is eternally useless. - C S Lewis

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

A girl with cotton stockings never sees a mouse. - American Proverb

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. - Pablo Picasso

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge. - Bertrand Russell

That picture with Lon Chaney - "Of Mouse And Men." - Archie Bunker

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen