For Sale - One Useless Cat

You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Useless laws weaken necessary laws. - Charles de Secondat

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

A mouse never entrusts his life to only one hole. - Plautus

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

The mouse that fears the trap has already been trapped. - Marty Rubin

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge. - Bertrand Russell

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information. - Oscar Wilde

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else. - Charles Dickens

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Skunk: 1. A streamlined cat with a 2-tone finish and a fluid drive; 2. A community scenter. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

People ought to retire at 40 when they feel over-used, and go back to work at 65 when they feel useless. - Carol A O'Marie

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live. - Lin Yutang

Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful. - Samuel Johnson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com