Children’s Science Exam Answers

Have you got intercontinental bowels?


Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does “varicose” mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section”.
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word “benign” mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

A monsoon is a French gentleman.

Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

For a dog bite, put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

For a nosebleed, put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.

For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

For fainting, rub the person’s chest, or if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest doctor.

Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don’t, why you should.

Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

Liter: A nest of young puppies.

Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places, and so they look like umbrellas.

One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

Oxygin is pure gin; hydrogen is water.

Planet: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

The body consists of three parts: the brainium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five – a, e, i, o, u.

The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off.

The word “trousers” is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered.

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

To prevent contraception, use a condominium.

To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

Vacuum: A large empty space where the Pope lives.

Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they’re there.

Water is composed of two gins: Oxygin and Hydrogin.

Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.

When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.

When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.

When you smell odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.


QuotaBills
Marketing isn't magic. There is a science to it. - Dan Zarrella

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of our science. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life. - Immanuel Kant

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

Study history. In history lies all the secrets of statecraft. - Winston Churchill

School Of Hard Knocks: Where they train door-to-door salesmen - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman

The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching. - John Wooden

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

I study myself more than any other subject. That is my metaphysics, that is my physics, - Michel de Montaigne

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

The cost of praising someone is nil - but every psychological study shows the payoff is huge. - Harvey Mackay

If I had only three years to serve the Lord, I would spend two of them studying and preparing. - Donald G Barnhouse

I admit that mathematical science is a good thing. But excessive devotion to it is a bad thing. - Aldous Huxley

Science is angling in the mud - angling for immortality and for anything else that may turn up. - Aldous Huxley

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. - Don Rickles

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. - Kurt Vonnegut

'Healing,' Papa would tell me, 'is not a science, but the intuitive art of wooing nature.' - W H Auden

I will only hire someone to work directly for me if I would work for that person. It's a pretty good test. - Mark Zuckerberg

Aftermath: 1. The period following algebra; 2. The horrible headache you have when you've finished the algebra test. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

A convention is a splendid place to study human nature. Man in a crowd is quite a different creature than man acting alone. - William Jennings Bryan

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

I was named the Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and to get me through things. - Guillermo Diaz

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

Nothing has afforded me so convincing a proof of the unity of the Deity as these purely mental conceptions of numerical and mathematical science. - Mary Somerville

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey

Not every man can carry a full cup. Sudden elevation frequently leads to pride and a fall. The most exacting test of all is to survive prosperity. - Oswald Sanders

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. - Garry Trudeau

To resist the frigidity of old age, one must combine the body, the mind, and the heart. And to keep these in parallel vigor one must exercise, study, and love. - Alan Bleasdale

I make two movies a year to take care of the butcher and the baker and the school fees. Then I try to write, but it's not that easy. Acting is what's easy. - David Niven

To teach how to live without certainty and yet without being paralysed by hesitation is perhaps the chief thing that philosophy, in our age, can do for those who study it. - Bertrand Russell

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything. - Muhammad Ali


see also   College,  Quote  &  School  Sections
Anything To Pass The Exam
Apocryphal Metaphors from Student Essays
Audible Sobs
Children’s Quotes
Daffynitions
Hangman Math
Inspiring School Exams
Nitrate
Redneck Engineering Exam

 

Knight Room

FIFA HQ

Spot The Surfer

Finally Got The Sink Fixed

Antique iPhones

Spongebob Suarez

Auto Correct Passing

Computer Resuscitation

PonyTale

Husband of the Year

Child Disarma-meant

Ancient Greek Stormtrooper

Ferrous Wheel

Dese Are My Bebies

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Big Boots To Fill

Redneck Dog Kennel

Mom Posting

Flying is so Overrated

Too Short
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

17-Jun-2021