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English Teacher’s Hospital Greeting

Poetry in motion for a well-versed hospital patient


A hospital patient, a distinguished teacher of English literature, received a note from a student, with this salutation:

“Dear ill literate...”




QuotaBills
No Sane man will dance. - Cicero

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Hollywood is an asylum run by the inmates. - Laurence Stallings

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Every man's memory is his private literature. - Aldous Huxley

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

The cards are ill shuffled till I have a good hand. - Jonathan Swift

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it. - Joseph Heller

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

A murderer is one who is presumed to be innocent until proven insane. - Unknown

The greatest masterpiece in literature is only a dictionary out of order. - Jean Cocteau

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. - Mark Twain

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. - Friedrich Nietzsche

All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. - Ernest Hemingway

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. - G B Burgin

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

When you're my age, you just never risk being ill - because then everyone says, "Oh, he's done for." - John Gielgud

A man never spoke ill of his captain, pirate or no, unless he was prepared to back his words with the might of the crew. - Matt Tomerlin

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer


see also   Hospital  Section
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Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Birth Control Pill For Men
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Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Constipated Mathematician
Diabetes Medication
Do You Have An HMO?
Doctor Stories
Doctor Types
Doctor’s Flat Examination
Doctor’s Hunting Skills
Doctor’s OR Specialty
Dog Proctologist
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Ebola Diet
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
Flu Fashion
German Flatulence Control
HMO Judgment Day
Hygiene On The Farm
HAGS Disease
Mechanical Patient
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Redneck Flu Shot
Simple Surgery
Singing Gynecologist
Sons Of Arthritis
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tattoo Implants
Typeface for Doctors
Viagra Overdose

 

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31-Mar-2020