A hospital patient, a distinguished teacher of English literature, received a note from a student, with this salutation: Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb Puns are the highest form of literature. - Alfred Hitchcock The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin Hollywood is an asylum run by the inmates. - Laurence Stallings I'm not ill, my pancreas is just lazy. - Unknown False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck To play billiards well is a sign of ill-spent youth. - Charles Roupell Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others. - Andre Maurois A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield Politicians get their power too late, and I think that he has inherited an impossible situation in which he is ill-equipped to deal. - Malcolm Muggeridge When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield see also Hospital Section 1-800-PILLCASH Acceptable Doctors Sign Alzheimer’s Wing An Old Man’s Dying Request Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness Birth Control Pill For Men Car Surgeon Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality Chiropractor Mailbox Coke Dispenser Colon Celery Colorectal Exam For Dogs Colorectal Surgeon Praise Constipated Mathematician Diabetes Medication Do You Have An HMO? 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