A hospital patient, a distinguished teacher of English literature, received a note from a student, with this salutation:
“Dear ill literate...”
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
In a mad world only the mad are sane. - Akira Kurosawa
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
Ill can he rule the great that cannot reach the small. - Edmund Spenser
Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
Misuse of "Literally" makes me figuratively insane. - Unknown
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. - Friedrich Nietzsche
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. - G B Burgin
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits. - Nathaniel Hawthorne
A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. - Lois Wyse
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
In a mad world only the mad are sane. - Akira Kurosawa
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
Ill can he rule the great that cannot reach the small. - Edmund Spenser
Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
Misuse of "Literally" makes me figuratively insane. - Unknown
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. - Friedrich Nietzsche
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. - G B Burgin
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits. - Nathaniel Hawthorne
A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. - Lois Wyse
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
see also Hospital Section
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Acceptable Doctors Sign
Alzheimer’s Wing
An Old Man’s Dying Request
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Birth Control Pill For Men
Car Surgeon
Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
Chiropractor Mailbox
Coke Dispenser
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Constipated Mathematician
Diabetes Medication
Do You Have An HMO?
Doctor Stories
Doctor Types
Doctor’s Flat Examination
Doctor’s Hunting Skills
Doctor’s OR Specialty
Dog Proctologist
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Ebola Diet
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
Flu Fashion
German Flatulence Control
HMO Judgment Day
Hygiene On The Farm
HAGS Disease
Mechanical Patient
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Redneck Flu Shot
Simple Surgery
Singing Gynecologist
Sons Of Arthritis
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tattoo Implants
Typeface for Doctors
Viagra Overdose
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07-Mar-2021 |