A hospital patient, a distinguished teacher of English literature, received a note from a student, with this salutation: Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb In a mad world only the mad are sane. - Akira Kurosawa God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin Ill can he rule the great that cannot reach the small. - Edmund Spenser Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale Misuse of "Literally" makes me figuratively insane. - Unknown A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. - Friedrich Nietzsche The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. - G B Burgin Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits. - Nathaniel Hawthorne A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. - Lois Wyse A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller see also Hospital Section 1-800-PILLCASH Acceptable Doctors Sign Alzheimer’s Wing An Old Man’s Dying Request Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness Birth Control Pill For Men Car Surgeon Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality Chiropractor Mailbox Coke Dispenser Colon Celery Colorectal Exam For Dogs Colorectal Surgeon Praise Constipated Mathematician Diabetes Medication Do You Have An HMO? Doctor Stories Doctor Types Doctor’s Flat Examination Doctor’s Hunting Skills Doctor’s OR Specialty Dog Proctologist Dreaded Furniture Disease Ebola Diet Fart Facts First Proctologist Exam Flu Fashion German Flatulence Control HMO Judgment Day Hygiene On The Farm HAGS Disease Mechanical Patient Menopause Sucks One Wee Scottish Farty Proctologist Call Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice Redneck Flu Shot Simple Surgery Singing Gynecologist Sons Of Arthritis Swine Flu Symptoms Tattoo Implants Typeface for Doctors Viagra Overdose |
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