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English Teacher’s Hospital Greeting

Poetry in motion for a well-versed hospital patient


A hospital patient, a distinguished teacher of English literature, received a note from a student, with this salutation:

“Dear ill literate...”




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He that hopes no good fears no ill. - Thomas Fuller

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

It's an ill plan that cannot be changed. - Latin Proverb

Nurses — one of the few blessings of being ill. - Sara Moss-Wolfe

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

An asylum for the sane would be empty in America. - George Bernard Shaw

The cards are ill shuffled till I have a good hand. - Jonathan Swift

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

We often repent the good we have done as well as the ill. - William Hazlitt

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane. - Philip K. Dick

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Am I afraid of high notes? Of course I am afraid. What sane man is not? - Luciano Pavarotti

The greatest masterpiece in literature is only a dictionary out of order. - Jean Cocteau

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. - Friedrich Nietzsche

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. - G B Burgin

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Among creatures born into chaos, a majority will imagine an order, a minority will question the order, and the rest will be pronounced insane. - Robert Brault


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Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
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Colorectal Surgeon Praise
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Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
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HMO Judgment Day
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Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
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05-Apr-2020