A man was walking home alone one night when he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...
behind him. Walking faster, he looks back, making out an image of an upright
coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him... BUMP...
BUMP... BUMP...
The man begins to run towards his home, and the coffin bounces quickly after
him, faster... faster... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP. He runs up to his door, fumbles
with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, and locks the door behind him.
However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin
flapping... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is
pounding. With a CRASH, the coffin breaks down the door. Coming slowly towards him, the man screaming, reaches for something, anything...
All he can find is a box of cough drops!
Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the coffin ...
... and... of... course,
... the coffin stops!
Ghost Writer: Spooksman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown
I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson
Mind sees ghost when frightened and hopeless. - Toba Beta
Now I know what a ghost is. Unfinished business. - Salman Rushdie
It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight. - Patricia Briggs
Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown
Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund
Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts. - Helen Stringer
Only the player with the initiative has the right to attack. - Wilhelm Steinitz
The pumpkin is always oranger on the other side of the patch. - Unknown
I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee
Suppose you get an attack of gastriasis in the middle of the night. - Archie Bunker
A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck
Except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. - Robert Benchley
Take care of your costume and your confidence will take care of itself. - Amit Kalantri
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken
I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen
Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. - Ralph Richardson
If I ever have to stop taking the subway, I'm gonna have a heart attack. - Edward Norton
Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack. - Sun Tzu
Antitoxidote cruisin' through my system looking for some disease to attack. - Archie Bunker
I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown
Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. - Unknown
I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega
I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood
Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey
Many an attack of depression is nothing but the expression of regret at having to be virtuous. - Wilhelm Stekel
Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani
I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. - Pearl Williams
That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo
Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch
When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown
We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn
The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas
Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla
If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland
The great thing about Glasgow now is that if there is a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards. - Billy Connolly
The Obama representatives like Robert Gibbs attack people viciously, but people like me will not be silent and will answer them back. - Donald Trump
Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown
I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson
Mind sees ghost when frightened and hopeless. - Toba Beta
Now I know what a ghost is. Unfinished business. - Salman Rushdie
It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight. - Patricia Briggs
Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown
Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund
Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts. - Helen Stringer
Only the player with the initiative has the right to attack. - Wilhelm Steinitz
The pumpkin is always oranger on the other side of the patch. - Unknown
I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee
Suppose you get an attack of gastriasis in the middle of the night. - Archie Bunker
A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck
Except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. - Robert Benchley
Take care of your costume and your confidence will take care of itself. - Amit Kalantri
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken
I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen
Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. - Ralph Richardson
If I ever have to stop taking the subway, I'm gonna have a heart attack. - Edward Norton
Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack. - Sun Tzu
Antitoxidote cruisin' through my system looking for some disease to attack. - Archie Bunker
I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown
Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. - Unknown
I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega
I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood
Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey
Many an attack of depression is nothing but the expression of regret at having to be virtuous. - Wilhelm Stekel
Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani
I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. - Pearl Williams
That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo
Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch
When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown
We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn
The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas
Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla
If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland
The great thing about Glasgow now is that if there is a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards. - Billy Connolly
The Obama representatives like Robert Gibbs attack people viciously, but people like me will not be silent and will answer them back. - Donald Trump
see also Halloween & Tombstone Sections
 Kung Fu Driver |  Ford Quadricycle |  Redneck Hayride |  Ice Boat |  Atom Trust |
 Electricity Storage |  Be Patient |  Can Never Have Too Many Tools |  Roller Blade Heels |  Pedal Car Mechanic |
 Winterpeg Warm |  Box Biker |  Ice Hockey Meltdown |  Swingers |  Patience and Wisdom |
27-Oct-2020 |