Coffin Attack

Coffin Attacks @ Halloween?

Curse of the banging coffin

A man was walking home alone one night when he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... behind him. Walking faster, he looks back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...

The man begins to run towards his home, and the coffin bounces quickly after him, faster... faster... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP. He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, and locks the door behind him. However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin flapping... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. With a CRASH, the coffin breaks down the door. Coming slowly towards him, the man screaming, reaches for something, anything...

All he can find is a box of cough drops!

Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the coffin ...

... and... of... course,

... the coffin stops!


QuotaBills
So many horrid Ghosts. - William Shakespeare

Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Love, and a cough, cannot be hid. - George Herbert

I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

Mind sees ghost when frightened and hopeless. - Toba Beta

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

Hackchoo: When you sneeze and cough at the same time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back. - Paul Erdos

The pumpkin is always oranger on the other side of the patch. - Unknown

I don't believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me. - Amit Abraham

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

It's both rebellion and conformity that attack you with success. - Amy Tan

Misers part with nothing until they die. Then they give up the ghost. - Latin Proverb

I don't think there's such a thing as unprovoked shark attack. - Peter Benchley

Take care of your costume and your confidence will take care of itself. - Amit Kalantri

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure. - Zig Ziglar

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. - Ralph Richardson

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did. - L.M. Montgomery

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

The great thing about Glasgow now is that if there is a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards. - Billy Connolly

I wouldn't describe myself as lacking in confidence, but I would say that the ghosts you chase you never catch. - John Malkovich

The Obama representatives like Robert Gibbs attack people viciously, but people like me will not be silent and will answer them back. - Donald Trump

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up. - Jay Leno

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien


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27-Feb-2021