Q: Why can’t you take a turkey to Church?
A: They use fowl language.
Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
A: Plymouth rock.
Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A: He had the drumsticks.
Q: What side of the turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside.
Q: Can a turkey jump higher than the empire state building?
A: Yes, a building can’t jump at all.
Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do may flowers bring?
Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
A: Their age.
Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent
Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose
Envy and greed starve on a healthy diet of thanksgiving. - Billy Graham
A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton
For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown
Thanksgiving, to be truly Thanksgiving, is first thanks, then giving. - Jacob Braude
Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander
Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown
Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown
The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller
Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser
Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard
Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown
I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli
Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser
We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction. - Harry Ironside
Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde
Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip
I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson
Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin
Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin
Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. - Albert Schweitzer
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