James Bond’s Telepathic Watch

Don’t you wish you had telepathic timing?


A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

Bond explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any knickers.”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!”

Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”


QuotaBills
Time is the devourer of everything. - Ovid

Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus

In my mind I'm a blind man doin' time. - Tupac Shakur

You become what you think about most of the time. - Earl Nightingale

I am just turning 40 and taking my time about it. - Harold Lloyd

Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

There is always a time to make right what is wrong. - Susan Griffin

If I had more time, I would write a shorter letter. - Blaise Pascal

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

It takes a long time to bring the past up to the present. - Franklin D Roosevelt

The best time to make up your mind about people is never. - Katharine Hepburn

90 percent of my time is spent on 10 percent of the world. - Colin Powell

Dancing is like bank robbery - it takes split second timing. - Twyla Tharp

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. - Bill Watterson

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

History is a cyclic poem written by time upon the memories of man. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

The time will come when winter will ask what you were doing all summer. - Henry Clay

suJoku.com - suDoku by Joe Defries, 3-time Guinness World Record Holder - Joe Defries

I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time. - Tom Ward

Quarantine: When a youth locks himself in his bedroom for months at a time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Drum soloing is like doing a marathon and solving equations at the same time. - Neil Peart

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

It's surprising how much of memory is built around things unnoticed at the time. - Barbara Kingsolver

Time passes too fast. Like a hummingbird flying by, it's just a blur to my eyes. - Amanda Leigh

If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work. - George Carlin

Trouble is, by the time you can read a girl like a book, your library card has expired. - Milton Berle

Reason is not time only interpreter of life. The fountain of action is in time feelings. - Henry T. Tuckerman

Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time. - Viktor Frankl

There's a time and place for everything, and I believe it's called 'fan fiction'. - Joss Whedon

Those who spend their time looking for the faults in others usually make no time to correct their own. - Art Jonak

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up. - George Burns

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal, and not wound. - Unknown

For one swallow does not make a summer, nor does one day. And so too one day, or a short time, does not make a man blessed and happy. - Aristotle

The starting line of the New York Marathon is like a giant time bomb behind you about to go off. It is the most spectacular start in sport. - Bill Rodgers

How much replay do we want? Because if you start doing it from the first inning to the ninth inning, you may have to time the game with a calendar. - Joe Torre


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17-Jun-2021