James Bond’s Telepathic Watch

Don’t you wish you had telepathic timing?


A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

Bond explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any knickers.”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!”

Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”


QuotaBills
Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus

Time ripens all things, no man is born wise. - Miguel de Cervantes

Time is a game played beautifully by children. - Heraclitus

To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak. - Indian Proverb

Social media are tools. Real time is a mindset. - David M. Scott

Everything comes in time to him who knows how to wait. - Leo Tolstoy

To sway an audience, you must watch them as you speak. - C. Kent Wright

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. - Unknown

The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman

Friendship requires more time than poor busy men can usually command. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure it's fun to watch. - MGM Grand Hotel

The best time management strategy: don't find the time, find the why. - Chris Guillebeau

Every time I fill a vacant office, I make ten malcontents and one ingrate. - Louis XIV

I don't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead. - Mark Twain

If the marathon is a part-time interest, you will only get part-time results. - Bill Rodgers

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

The only time you don't fail is the last time you try anything - and it works. - William Strong

Time is the scarcest resource and unless it is managed nothing else can be managed. - Peter F Drucker

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. - Thomas Szasz

All my life I've looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time. - Ernest Hemingway

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. - Kurt H Adler

Celebrate what you've accomplished, but raise the bar a little higher each time you succeed. - Mia Hamm

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

For the first time, I hand-picked an 'Apprentice' cast, and I'm thrilled with the results. - Donald Trump

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

Ezra was right half the time, and when he was wrong, he was so wrong you were never in any doubt about it. - Ernest Hemingway

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people. - Garrison Keillor

I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right. - Albert Einstein

Sometimes I feel like a groundhog. I wish that every time I saw my workplace I could just go down the hole and go off to sleep. - Sherry Bane

There is a direct relationship between a person's grasp and experience of God's grace and his or her heart for justice. - Unknown

I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown

Look at everything as though you were seeing it for either the first or last time. Then your time on earth will be filled with glory. - Betty Smith

New Year's Day ... now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. - Mark Twain


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28-Nov-2020