James Bond’s Telepathic Watch

Don’t you wish you had telepathic timing?


A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

Bond explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any knickers.”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!”

Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”


QuotaBills
Time is the wisest counselor. - Pericles

Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Wait for the wisest of counselors, time. - Pericles

I am 46, and have been for some time past. - Anita Brookner

We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch. - John F Kennedy

The time to begin most things is ten years ago. - Mignon McLaughlin

There are no secrets that time does not reveal. - Jean Racine

I don't need time. What I need is a deadline. - Duke Ellington

You can fool too many people too much of the time. - James Thurber

Her time is about 4.33, which she's capable of. - David Coleman

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

Shard by shard we are released from the tyranny of so-called time. - Patti Smith

Every man regards his own life as the New Year’s Eve of time. - Jean Paul Richter

Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. - Neil Postman

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

We go back and forth between being time's master and its victim. - James Gleick

Our youth we can have but today; we may always find time to grow old. - George Berkeley

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

Every time I fill a vacant office, I make ten malcontents and one ingrate. - Louis XIV

Life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time it's in your hand. - Unknown

If you can do something with your eyes closed, it's time to find something new. - Kathie L Gifford

The first time I sang in the Church choir, two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still. - Mignon McLaughlin

Time neither subtracts nor divides, but adds at such a pace it seems like multiplication. - Bob Talbert

Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan

The next time you hear a social media myth, question it. Ask for the proof, and ask out loud. - Dan Zarrella

The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen

I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams

Management by objective works - if you know the objectives. Ninety percent of the time you don't. - Peter F Drucker

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Nobody sees a flower, really - it is so small - we haven't time, and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time. - Georgia O'Keefe

Sometimes I feel like a groundhog. I wish that every time I saw my workplace I could just go down the hole and go off to sleep. - Sherry Bane

Forgiveness is not a one-time thing that happened the day you received Christ. It is an everyday thing, for the rest of your life. - Joyce Meyer

I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy. - Oscar Wilde

Worrying is the most natural and spontaneous of all human functions. It is time to acknowledge this, perhaps even to learn to do it better. - Lewis Thomas

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. - Barack Obama


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13-Jul-2020