Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
Life itself is a gift. - Daphne R Kingma

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Life is a relationship between molecules. - Linus Pauling

Lingerie: The only clothing where less costs more - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

I'm tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am. - Paula Abdul

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Laughter is really a gift. It's the most vulnerable state you can be in. - David Dobkin

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. - Charles Dudley Warner

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

Today we celebrate the gift of victory over every fall we have ever experienced. - Jeffrey R Holland

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

People who have good relationships at home are more effective in the marketplace. - Zig Ziglar

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. - Voltaire

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Don't tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results. - George S Patton

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself - have the compassion to forgive others, and the courage to forgive yourself. - Mary Anne Radmacher

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

I believe there's an Almighty, and I believe the Almighty's great gift to each man and woman in this world is the desire to be free. - George W Bush

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt


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23-Oct-2021