Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
Brevity is the soul of lingerie. - Dorothy Parker

Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise. - Alice Walker

Every good and perfect gift comes from above. - Bible

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself. - Steve Martin

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. - Oscar Wilde

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

I'm tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am. - Paula Abdul

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status. - Abdul'Rauf Hashmi

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. - Jim Valvano

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge. - Albert Einstein

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me. - Chevy Chase

That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo

No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader. - Robert Frost

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Nothing is a surprise to God; nothing is a setback to His plans; nothing can thwart His purposes; and nothing is beyond His control. - Joni Eareckson Tada

To be happy, you must fancy that everything you have is a gift, and you the chosen, though you worked your tail off for every bit of it. - Robert Brault

Forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. - Yolanda Hadid

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


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Everything Men Know About Women
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27-Jul-2021