Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
Candlestine romance - Archie Bunker

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise. - Alice Walker

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself. - Steve Martin

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Mankind's greatest gift is that we have free choice. - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. - Steve Prefontaine

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example. - Morell

A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. - Emile Zola

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

It is one thing to be gifted and quite another thing to be worthy of one's own gift. - Nadia Boulanger

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

What a surprise to find you could shift the contents of your head like rearranging furniture in a room. - Lisa Alther

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. - Bil Keane

Romance is thinking about your significant other, when you are supposed to be thinking about something else. - Nicholas Sparks

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. - Bill Keane

Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst


see also   Marriage,  Shopping  &  Stress  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
My Last Swim In The Ocean
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
The Last Photo I Took
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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21-Jan-2020