Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
Solomon: Jamaican bachelor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. - Steve Prefontaine

The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example. - Morell

Do not be afraid; our fate cannot be taken from us; it is a gift. - Dante Alighieri

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status. - Abdul'Rauf Hashmi

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. - Emile Zola

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Content builds relationships. Relationships are built on trust. Trust drives revenue. - Andrew Davis

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge. - Albert Einstein

Hope is like peace. It is not a gift from God. It is a gift only we can give one another. - Elie Wiesel

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself - have the compassion to forgive others, and the courage to forgive yourself. - Mary Anne Radmacher

I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic. - Will Estes

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles. - Samuel Smiles

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

There is a direct relationship between a person's grasp and experience of God's grace and his or her heart for justice. - Unknown

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland


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18-May-2022