Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
Candlestine romance - Archie Bunker

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. - Suzanne Somers

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. - Richard Bach

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

There is no more expensive thing than a free gift. - Michel de Montaigne

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Forgiveness is a gift of high value. Yet its cost is nothing. - Betty Smith

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

Do not be afraid; our fate cannot be taken from us; it is a gift. - Dante Alighieri

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. - Unknown

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention. - Richard Moss

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

What a surprise to find you could shift the contents of your head like rearranging furniture in a room. - Lisa Alther

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown


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Everything Men Know About Women
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Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
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28-Sep-2020