Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
Candlestine romance - Archie Bunker

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? - Unknown

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Mankind's greatest gift is that we have free choice. - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Forgiveness is a gift of high value. Yet its cost is nothing. - Betty Smith

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. - Charles Dudley Warner

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention. - Jim Rohn

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

It is one thing to be gifted and quite another thing to be worthy of one's own gift. - Nadia Boulanger

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge. - Albert Einstein

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. - Bil Keane

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic. - Will Estes

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

The older one gets, the more one feels that the present must be enjoyed; it is a precious gift, comparable to a state of grace. - Marie Curie

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson


see also   Marriage,  Shopping  &  Stress  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
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Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
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Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
My Last Swim In The Ocean
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
The Last Photo I Took
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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18-Feb-2020