A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher
He who limps is still walking. - Joan Rivers
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown
Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare
Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino
Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields
Anywhere is walking distance if you've got the time. - Steven Wright
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney
Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner
An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher
He who limps is still walking. - Joan Rivers
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown
Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare
Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino
Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields
Anywhere is walking distance if you've got the time. - Steven Wright
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney
Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner
An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash
see also Dog Section
Babysitter Dog
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16-Dec-2019 |