A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
Every dog has his day. - Unknown
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher
He who limps is still walking. - Joan Rivers
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown
A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb
I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare
Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova
We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller
Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
I love hiking, paddle boarding and listening to the Veronicas. - Bindi Irwin
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night. - WC Fields
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright
Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner
An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton
The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor
Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher
He who limps is still walking. - Joan Rivers
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown
A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb
I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare
Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova
We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller
Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
I love hiking, paddle boarding and listening to the Veronicas. - Bindi Irwin
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night. - WC Fields
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright
Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner
An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton
The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor
Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
see also Dog Section
Babysitter Dog
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13-Dec-2019 |