A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb
Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher
Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown
Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb
To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett
The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael
Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare
Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz
Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb
Anywhere is walking distance if you've got the time. - Steven Wright
Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying. - Charlie Chaplin
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney
Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten
Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight
The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. - Dolly Parton
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
Unlucky: Crossing the street to avoid walking under a ladder and getting hit by a truck full of horseshoes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. - Hawkeye
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber
Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress. - Barack Obama
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. - C S Lewis
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney
Our society is walking through a maze of cultural land mines and the heaviest price is exacted as we send our children on ahead. - Ravi Zacharias
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain
Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia
Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher
Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown
Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb
To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett
The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael
Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare
Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz
Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb
Anywhere is walking distance if you've got the time. - Steven Wright
Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying. - Charlie Chaplin
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney
Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten
Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight
The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. - Dolly Parton
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
Unlucky: Crossing the street to avoid walking under a ladder and getting hit by a truck full of horseshoes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. - Hawkeye
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber
Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress. - Barack Obama
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. - C S Lewis
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney
Our society is walking through a maze of cultural land mines and the heaviest price is exacted as we send our children on ahead. - Ravi Zacharias
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain
Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia
see also Dog Section
Babysitter Dog
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17-Oct-2021 |