A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker
He who limps is still walking. - Joan Rivers
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet
Content is fire and social media is gasoline. - Jay Baer
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb
We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller
Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
I love hiking, paddle boarding and listening to the Veronicas. - Bindi Irwin
Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney
Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright
If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker
He who limps is still walking. - Joan Rivers
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet
Content is fire and social media is gasoline. - Jay Baer
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb
We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller
Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
I love hiking, paddle boarding and listening to the Veronicas. - Bindi Irwin
Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney
Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright
If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
see also Dog Section
Babysitter Dog
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