A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare
Every dog has his day. - Unknown
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb
Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare
Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova
The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz
Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields
Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon
When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi
Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown
I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings
Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
Our society is walking through a maze of cultural land mines and the heaviest price is exacted as we send our children on ahead. - Ravi Zacharias
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright
Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman
The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia
From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare
Every dog has his day. - Unknown
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb
Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare
Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova
The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz
Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields
Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon
When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi
Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown
I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings
Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
Our society is walking through a maze of cultural land mines and the heaviest price is exacted as we send our children on ahead. - Ravi Zacharias
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright
Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman
The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia
From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey
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15-Apr-2021 |