A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare
Every dog has his day. - Unknown
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett
Content is fire and social media is gasoline. - Jay Baer
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare
We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller
Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford
Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb
The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz
Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones
A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. - Hawkeye
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright
Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain
Every dog has his day. - Unknown
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett
Content is fire and social media is gasoline. - Jay Baer
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare
We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller
Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford
Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb
The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz
Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones
A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. - Hawkeye
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright
Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain
see also Dog Section
Babysitter Dog
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03-Jul-2020 |