A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato
A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb
Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova
The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb
Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford
If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb
The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz
Anywhere is walking distance if you've got the time. - Steven Wright
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
If you think you have influence, try ordering some else's dog around. - Amish Saying
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller
Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. - Hawkeye
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress. - Barack Obama
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. - C S Lewis
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato
A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb
Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova
The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb
Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford
If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb
The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz
Anywhere is walking distance if you've got the time. - Steven Wright
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
If you think you have influence, try ordering some else's dog around. - Amish Saying
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller
Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. - Hawkeye
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress. - Barack Obama
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. - C S Lewis
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey
see also Dog Section
Babysitter Dog
 Soldier Salute |  You Turn |  Australia 101 For Tourists |  Horse Wood Sculpture |  Changing Priorities Ahead |
 Fishing With Moses |  Expired Marriage |  Goose Walkers |  Minion HotHead |  Christopher Walken |
 Greek Financial Path |  Miss Afghanistan Finalists |  Fawn Of You |  Swimming in the Dead Sea |  Redneck Beer Stacker |
 Hot Summer Days |  mIndians |  Mouthful Of Information |  Happy Face Sandwich |  Senior Eye Exam |
03-Jul-2022 |