A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare
Every dog has his day. - Unknown
Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett
I'm walking here! I'm walking here! - Midnight Cowboy
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr
Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb
Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown
Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying. - Charlie Chaplin
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night. - WC Fields
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright
Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell
Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee
Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. - C S Lewis
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture. - Russell Baker
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash
Every dog has his day. - Unknown
Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett
I'm walking here! I'm walking here! - Midnight Cowboy
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr
Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb
Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown
Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying. - Charlie Chaplin
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night. - WC Fields
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright
Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell
Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee
Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. - C S Lewis
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture. - Russell Baker
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash
see also Dog Section
Babysitter Dog
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30-Sep-2020 |