A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
Colic: A sheep dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker
He who limps is still walking. - Joan Rivers
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
An angry dog is best led by its tail. - Unknown
I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein
The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
Wok The Dog: Specialty at Vietnamese Restaurants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr
Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb
If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If we growl all day we're likely to feel dog tired at night. - Amish Saying
No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon
When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller
Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight
Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell
Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown
Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert
An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. - C S Lewis
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker
He who limps is still walking. - Joan Rivers
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
An angry dog is best led by its tail. - Unknown
I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein
The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
Wok The Dog: Specialty at Vietnamese Restaurants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr
Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb
If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If we growl all day we're likely to feel dog tired at night. - Amish Saying
No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon
When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller
Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight
Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell
Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown
Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert
An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. - C S Lewis
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash
see also Dog Section
Babysitter Dog
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