A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb
Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato
Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
I'm walking here! I'm walking here! - Midnight Cowboy
He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb
Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino
The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb
Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten
Hiking and happiness go hand in hand (or foot in boot). - Diane Spicer
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying. - Charlie Chaplin
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon
When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton
Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown
Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. - C S Lewis
I felt as if I were walking with destiny, and that all my past life had been but a preparation for this hour and this trial. - Winston Churchill
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb
Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato
Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
I'm walking here! I'm walking here! - Midnight Cowboy
He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb
Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino
The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb
Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten
Hiking and happiness go hand in hand (or foot in boot). - Diane Spicer
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying. - Charlie Chaplin
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon
When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton
Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown
Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. - C S Lewis
I felt as if I were walking with destiny, and that all my past life had been but a preparation for this hour and this trial. - Winston Churchill
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash
see also Dog Section
Babysitter Dog
 Pets Come First |  If You Need Space |  Economy Flight |  Redneck Hailstone Damage |  Wet Tents |
 Redneck Flu Shot |  Japanese Diving Platform |  All Mine |  Cat Swimming at the Olympics |  Yoga Food |
 Paint Room |  Beer Cheers |  Olympic Preparations |  Row Your Goat |  My Kind Of Exercise |
 Surround Sound for Babies |  Cemetery Protest |  Clean Senior Citizens |  Taco Bell Secret Seasoning |  Goodbye Tattoo |
01-Aug-2021 |