Manitoba Health Care’s Test For Alzheimers

When health care won’t pay for more expensive tests



Mr. Smith goes to the doctor’s office to collect his wife’s test results.

The lab technician says to him, “I’m sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife’s. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible!”

“What do you mean?” asked Mr. Smith.

“Well one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer’s and the other Mrs. Smith has tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your wife.”

“That’s terrible!” said Mr. Smith. “Can’t we do the test over?”

“Normally, yes. But you have Manitoba Health Care and they won’t pay for these expensive tests more than once.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do now?” asked Mr. Smith.

“Manitoba Health Care recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don’t sleep with her!”




QuotaBills
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown

Stories are memory aids, instruction manuals and moral compasses. - Aleks Krotoski

We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown

I have Alzheimer's bulimia - first I eat everything in sight, then I forget to puke. - Cindy Marzahn

The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen

I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin

I had a job selling hearing aids from door to door. It wasn't easy, because your best prospects never answered. - Bob Monkhouse

If you learn to listen for clues as to how I feel instead of what I say, you will be able to understand me much better. - Mara Botonis

I have Dementia
My responses may be slow.
Take your time and wait for me,
It means more than you can know! - Unknown

Alzheimer's disease starts when a protein that should be folded up properly misfolds into a kind of demented origami. - Gregory Petsko

Please promise me. If and when the day comes that I may forget who you are, please promise that you won't forget that I am still me. - Mara Botonis

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin

Dementia care isn't easy. Caring for a person living with Alzheimer's or a related dementia is difficult. In fact, caring is one of the most difficult undertakings that anyone could ever imagine. - Bob deMarco

Those with dementia are still people and they still have stories and they still have character and they're all individuals and they're all unique. And they just need to be interacted with on a human level. - Carey Mulligan


see also   Canada  &  Medical  Sections
Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s?
Alzheimer’s Wing
Brain Transplant
Daily Exercise for Seniors
Dementia Purse
Dementia Relations
Dreams Come True
Handicap Porch
Harvard Reading Test
Hopscotch for Seniors
Irish Alzheimers
Senile Agitation
Senior Center Reminder
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20-Sep-2020