When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for: 1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day; 2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week); 3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night; 4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo; 5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you; 6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days; 7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need hanging? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience; 8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don’t even have to ask for them; 9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip, you’re on Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life; Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don’t look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship. P.S. And don’t forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge! see also   Aging  &  Travel  Sections A. A. A. D. D. Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s? Be Careful Pulling Out Cell Phone For Seniors Daily Exercise for Seniors Dreams Come True Driving Tip For The Elderly False Teeth Health Index Justice For All Neck Exercises to do at the Computer New Wine For Seniors - Anti-Diuretic Hybrid Grape Ritz Nursing Home Senile Agitation Senior Health Care Solution Snowplow For Seniors Winter Laundry Working Past 65   Long Liquor Store Musical Spoons We Open Poultry Breakfast Welcome To Manitoba Circus Escape Never Do Anything Wrong Senior Beer Drinker's Bar Pumping Services Cicada Man Leading Edge Climber Codfather Doughnut Monster Truck One At A Time Shark Swim

24-Sep-2021