Afghan Humour

The Taliban’s national bird


Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...

Q: What is the Taliban’s national bird?
A: Duck

Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: Why does the Afghanistan Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.

Q: What do Osama Bin Laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from.

Q: Why aren’t there any Wal-Marts in Afghanistan?
A. Because there’s a Target on every corner.


QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

Always drink upstream from the herd. - Will Rogers

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? - George Carlin

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. - English Proverb

The army is the true nobility of our country. - Napoleon III

Love is not love without a violin playing goat. - Julia Roberts

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

In sports, every day you can be the hero or the goat. - Geoff Stults

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. - William Blake

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

On second thought, I think I am more crazy than my goat. - Remedios Varo

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target. - George Fisher

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

Like the herd animals we are, we sniff warily at the strange one among us. - Loren Eiseley

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. - George S Patton

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

You can't hit a target you cannot see, and you cannot see a target you do not have. - Zig Ziglar

We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove. - Mark Twain

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there. - Will Rogers

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

New York is my Lourdes where I go for spiritual refreshment...a place where you are least likely to be bitten by a wild goat. - Brendan Behan

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan


see also   Country  &  Nationality  Sections
Afghan Livestock Management
Afghanistan Map - Revised Edition
Miss Afghanistan Finalists

 

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29-Jan-2020