First Lady Priorities

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. - Sarah J. Parker

Pound for pound, the moose is the leanest ruminant on earth. - Daniel M Ortberg

It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect. - Dylan Moran

I'm as strong as a bull moose and you can use me to the limit. - Theodore Roosevelt

Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas. - Lewis Black

Republicans are men of narrow vision, who are afraid of the future. - Jimmy Carter

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. - Will Rogers

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Republicans will do anything for the poor except get off their backs. - American Proverb

If I don't get along with Democrats, I'm sort of, like, out of business. - Donald Trump

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

Hillary Clinton is not going to be able to create jobs, I will tell you right now. - Donald Trump

A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader. - Harry S Truman

The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street. - Kin Hubbard

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. - Milton Berle

I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. - Kin Hubbard

The largest party in America is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans. It's the party of non-voters. - Robert Reich

I know runners who have suffered a tick bite and ended up with Lyme disease. I'll take an angry moose any day. - Don Kardong

I was a Democrat for a period of time early on. And then I was also an independent. And then I became a Republican. - Donald Trump

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too. - Oscar Levant

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. The difference between Bill Clinton and myself is that he has a walk-in closet. - Pat Buchanan

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

The Republicans have all of the cards. And this is the time to get rid of Obamacare. This is the time to make the great deal. - Donald Trump

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

Hillary Clinton was the worst Secretary of State in the history of the country. The world came apart under her reign as Secretary of State. - Donald Trump

It is enough that the people know there was an election. The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything. - Joseph Stalin

According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it. - Jay Leno

If you want to go foraging into the wilds of Canada without proper gear, you deserve what you get, even if that happens to include being attacked by an undead moose. - Mira Grant

My parents elected me president of the family when I was 4. We actually had an election every year and I always won. I'm an only child, and I could count on my mother's vote. - Condoleezza Rice

Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future. - John F Kennedy

I think George Will is somebody that said recently that the Republicans will not lose, as a Republican, that the Republicans will not win the election. I think it was a terrible statement. - Donald Trump

We feel (Trump National) is better than Pebble Beach. We have had some people out who are very familiar with Pebble Beach. Most people consider (Trump National) to be substantially superior. - Donald Trump

Megyn Kelly: You've called women you don't like "fat pigs," "dogs," "slobs," and "disgusting animals."
Donald Trump: Only Rosie O'Donnell. - Donald Trump

If I were a liberal Democrat, people would say I'm the super genius of all time. If you're a conservative Republican, you've got to fight for your life. It's really an amazing thing. - Donald Trump

Millions of Americans are standing up and saying, 'We want our country back!' Republicans, Democrats, Independents, will not go down the path of Greece, we will not go quietly into the night. - Ted Cruz