Conservative Plant

All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

Politics is war by other measures. - Steve Bannon

In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

A penny saved is a Congressional oversight. - Hal Luyah

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. - Henry Cate, VII

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. - George Jean Nathan

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

A liberal is a man who will give away everything he doesn't own. - Frank Dane

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. - Simon Cameron

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

A good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H L Mencken

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

The largest party in America is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans. It's the party of non-voters. - Robert Reich

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress. - Ronald Reagan

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

She's not a pothead. That thing on her neck is a vase. And anyway, I'm all for legalization. After all, why should surrealism be illegal? - Jarod Kintz

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them. - Mark Twain

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov