White House Fence Bid

I love my country - it’s the government I’m afraid of!


Three contractors bid on the White House fence. One is from Chicago, another from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

“Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $9,000. That’s $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $7,000. That’s $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$27,000.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.


Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box,
the jury box, and the cartridge box.

QuotaBills
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

Self-government won't work without self-discipline. - Paul Harvey

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up. - Robert Frost

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Well washed and combed domestic pets grow dull; they miss the stimulus of fleas. - Francis Galton

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o'er wrought heart and bids it break. - William Shakespeare

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. - Viktor Frankl

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


see also   Government,  Politics  &  Work  Sections
Contractor Bids  (pre 2001)

 

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20-Jan-2021