Redneck Tree Chair

Reclimbing chair - Archie Bunker

Weeping Willow: Sad tree - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Palm Tree: A tree with hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Rock Music: Sung in a rocking chair - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Pencil: A tiny tree used to draw a line in the sand - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One who sits between two chairs may easily fall down. - Romanian and Russian Proverb

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

If you stand up and be counted, someone will take your seat. - Unknown

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Tupac was one of the biggest thugs I know - and he always wore his seat belt. - Ice Cube

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe. - Abraham Lincoln

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

University: 1. A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand; 2. A mental institution. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chair pose is a defiance of spirit, showing how high you can reach even when you're forced down. - Unknown

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

Bountiful: What Captain Bligh declared after learning that one more breadfruit tree would sink his ship - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

Geometry: 1. What the acorn said after it grew up; 2. A tree made up of numbers and letters; 3. Without geometry, life is pointless. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

The axe cannot boast of the tree it has cut down. It could do nothing but for the woodsman. He made it, he sharpened it, and he used it. - Samuel Brengel

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown