Redneck Tree Chair

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

One who sits between two chairs may easily fall down. - Romanian and Russian Proverb

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart. - William Hazlitt

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

Chair pose is a defiance of spirit, showing how high you can reach even when you're forced down. - Unknown

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

You can't deny laughter. When it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. - Stephen King

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewellery. - John Lennon

I'll see you at the opera tonight. I'll hold your seat till you get there. After that, you're on your own. - Groucho Marx

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash