No-Restroom-Break Scooter

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. - Lillian Carter

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle