Eye Halve A Spelling Checker

When good English isn’t good enough

Passing a dictionary test without diction


I halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marcs four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased to no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.


QuotaBills
Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Francis Bacon

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Ratify: To use a spell and turn a person into a rodent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

A sage thing is timely silence, and better than any speech. - Plutarch

Quota: Someone who likes to report other people's speech - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together. - Max Eastman

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

If you cannot understand me in my speech, how can you understand me in my silence? - Ravi Zacharias

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Music expresses feeling and thought, without language; it was below and before speech, and it is above and beyond all words. - Robert G Ingersoll

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton


see also   Daffynition  &  Language  Sections
Ode To A Spell Checker  (2001 version)
Reading Talent

 

Gold Bar Carrot Cake

Looking For A Mate

Food For Thought

Kanye Twitty

Skull Tentacles

Ukrainian Cattle Car

CreepEye

Canadian Whiskey

Winter Tree

WrenchWare

Dog Sled

Winter Ready

Bread Dress

Bear With Me

Open-air schools in The Netherlands

Ghost Food

Toothpaste Holder

Two Face

Redneck Porch Hunter

Jeep Words
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

23-Oct-2021