Eye Halve A Spelling Checker

When good English isn’t good enough

Passing a dictionary test without diction


I halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marcs four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased to no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.


QuotaBills
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Nothing you can't spell will ever work. - Will Rogers

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft


see also   Daffynition  &  Language  Sections
Ode To A Spell Checker  (2001 version)
Reading Talent

 

Do Nothing Day

Horn Blower

Breathe in the Ocean

Skywalking

Low Ceiling Workout

Maxi Boot Sorbet

OCD Highschool

Kona Lisa

Fire Distinguisher

An Apple A Day

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Redneck Book Holder

Cold Canada Winter

Snow Reservations

Must Catch Pokemon

Flat-Earthers

Boy Scout Scooter

COLD Fairbanks

Diet Hard

The Bicycle Tree of Vashon Island
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

22-Jan-2020