Eye Halve A Spelling Checker

When good English isn’t good enough

Passing a dictionary test without diction


I halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marcs four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased to no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.


QuotaBills
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

Speech is silver; silence is golden. - Thomas Carlyle

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

I am the Roman Emperor and am above grammar. - Emperor Sigismund

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Reality can be lost when reason and language have been violated. - Ravi Zacharias

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Wisdom is knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech. - Evangel

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

Sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in. - Jane Austen

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Music expresses feeling and thought, without language; it was below and before speech, and it is above and beyond all words. - Robert G Ingersoll

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton


see also   Daffynition  &  Language  Sections
Ode To A Spell Checker  (2001 version)
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27-Jul-2021