Eye Halve A Spelling Checker

When good English isn’t good enough

Passing a dictionary test without diction


I halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marcs four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased to no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.


QuotaBills
Silence is safer than speech. - Epictetus

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of the hearer as well as those of the speaker. - Frederick Douglass

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin


see also   Daffynition  &  Language  Sections
Ode To A Spell Checker  (2001 version)
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29-Nov-2020