Ode To A Turkey

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop;
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know.
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ‘Black November’...

“Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you’ll get six meals instead of just three,
And soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.

And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
In’ll burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head;
Then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald ’n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink.”

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat;
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I’d have to lay low and remain overlooked.

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and grapes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap;
I haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap.

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said, “Christmas is coming!”

QuotaBills
Dancing is silent poetry. - Simonides

Music is the poetry of the air. - Jean Paul Richter

Love is the poetry of the senses. - Honore de Balzac

A poem begins with a lump in the throat. - Robert Frost

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent

Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare

You campaign in poetry; you govern in prose. - Mario Cuomo

A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom. - Robert Frost

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Poetry is a way of taking life by the throat. - Robert Frost

She moved like a poem and smiled like a sphinx. - Laini Taylor

Pure mathematics is the poetry of logical ideas. - Albert Einstein

Poetry is the clear expression of mixed feelings. - W H Auden

No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose

If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash. - Leonard Cohen

It is always fatal to have music or poetry interrupted. - George Eliot

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton

The United States themselves are essentially the greatest poem. - Walt Whitman

Prose is a museum, where all the old weapons of poetry are kept. - T.E. Hulme

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

Poetry is the statement of a relation between a man and the world. - Wallace Stevens

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. - Robert Frost

Books of poetry by young writers are usually promissory notes that are never met. - Oscar Wilde

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too. - Pablo Neruda

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope. - Oscar Wilde

Some people will tell you there is a great deal of poetry and fine sentiment in a chest of tea. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser

Writing criticism is to writing fiction and poetry as hugging the shore is to sailing in the open sea. - John Updike

I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac

My favourite poem is the one that starts, "Thirty days hath September" because it actually tells you something. - Groucho Marx

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin

see also Christmas, Food & Turkey Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
How To Cook A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Ode To A Turkey

Remembering the horrors of Black November

05-Mar-2021