When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop;
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know.
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ‘Black November’...
“Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you’ll get six meals instead of just three,
And soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.
And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
In’ll burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head;
Then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald ’n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink.”
Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat;
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I’d have to lay low and remain overlooked.
I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and grapes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;
I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;
And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap;
I haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap.
She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said, “Christmas is coming!”
Poetry should only occupy the idle. - Lord Byron
Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent
Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare
You campaign in poetry; you govern in prose. - Mario Cuomo
A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom. - Robert Frost
All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling. - Oscar Wilde
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
Poetry is a way of taking life by the throat. - Robert Frost
She moved like a poem and smiled like a sphinx. - Laini Taylor
Pure mathematics is the poetry of logical ideas. - Albert Einstein
No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose
If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash. - Leonard Cohen
It is always fatal to have music or poetry interrupted. - George Eliot
Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost
Prose is a museum, where all the old weapons of poetry are kept. - T.E. Hulme
There is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem. - Booker T Washington
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown
Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander
Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people. - Adrian Mitchell
Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W H Auden
Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. - Robert Frost
I have never started a poem yet whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering. - Robert Frost
The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller
Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser
Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved. - Christopher P. Rubero
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too. - Pablo Neruda
Some people will tell you there is a great deal of poetry and fine sentiment in a chest of tea. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realize. - Oscar Wilde
Writing criticism is to writing fiction and poetry as hugging the shore is to sailing in the open sea. - John Updike
Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde
The greatest ideas, the most profound thoughts, and the most beautiful poetry are born from the womb of silence. - William A. Ward
I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac
I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson
Deals are my art form. Other people paint beautifully on canvas or write wonderful poetry. I like making deals, preferably big deals. - Donald Trump
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin
Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin
Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. - Albert Schweitzer
see also Christmas, Food & Turkey Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
How To Cook A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
 Sidewalk Malt Melt |  Redneck Post Support |  Indiana Jeans |  First Performance |  Puzzle Makers |
 Fishing Dog |  Twins' First Piano Lesson |  Black Sheep Friday |  Black Friday Scam |  2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars |
 Aussie Gazpacho |  Too Much Turkey |  Best Friend Theft |  Baconurkey |  Biggest Turkeys |
27-Nov-2020 |