Ode To A Turkey

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop;
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know.
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ‘Black November’...

“Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you’ll get six meals instead of just three,
And soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.

And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
In’ll burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head;
Then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald ’n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink.”

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat;
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I’d have to lay low and remain overlooked.

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and grapes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap;
I haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap.

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said, “Christmas is coming!”

QuotaBills
Dancing is silent poetry. - Simonides

Vice Versa: Dirty Italian poetry - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Poetry should only occupy the idle. - Lord Byron

A poem begins with a lump in the throat. - Robert Frost

Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent

This poem will never reach its destination. - Voltaire

You campaign in poetry; you govern in prose. - Mario Cuomo

A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom. - Robert Frost

All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling. - Oscar Wilde

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

She moved like a poem and smiled like a sphinx. - Laini Taylor

Poetry is the clear expression of mixed feelings. - W H Auden

If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash. - Leonard Cohen

I see the poem or the novel ending with an open door. - Michael Ondaatje

It is always fatal to have music or poetry interrupted. - George Eliot

Envy and greed starve on a healthy diet of thanksgiving. - Billy Graham

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

The United States themselves are essentially the greatest poem. - Walt Whitman

There is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem. - Booker T Washington

History is a cyclic poem written by time upon the memories of man. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips

We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

I have never started a poem yet whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering. - Robert Frost

Books of poetry by young writers are usually promissory notes that are never met. - Oscar Wilde

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

Some people will tell you there is a great deal of poetry and fine sentiment in a chest of tea. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser

Writing criticism is to writing fiction and poetry as hugging the shore is to sailing in the open sea. - John Updike

Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde

The greatest ideas, the most profound thoughts, and the most beautiful poetry are born from the womb of silence. - William A. Ward

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

My favourite poem is the one that starts, "Thirty days hath September" because it actually tells you something. - Groucho Marx

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

see also Christmas, Food & Turkey Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
How To Cook A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Ode To A Turkey

Remembering the horrors of Black November

06-Jul-2022