Chicken Literacy

Beware of chickens in public libraries


A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, “Buk Buk BUK.”
The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.

Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says, “Buk Buk BuKKOOK!”
The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.

About an hour later the two birds march back in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, “Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!”

The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what’s happening.

She followed them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.

She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog kept repeating, “Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit...”


QuotaBills
Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library. - Jorge Luis Borges

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need. - Cicero

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Curb your fretting, tadpole, or the frog of your future will fail to croak. - Paul Collins

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

When I step into this library, I cannot understand why I ever step out of it. - Marie de Sevigne

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. - George W. Bush

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. - E.B. White

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

I'd kiss a frog even if there was no promise of a Prince Charming popping out of it. I love frogs. - Cameron Diaz

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

I heard his library burned down and both books were destroyed - and one of them hadn't even been colored in yet. - Robertson Davies

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. - Rodney Dangerfield

Life is like a library owned by the author. In it are a few books which he wrote himself, but most of them were written for him. - Harry Emerson Fosdick

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind. - E.B. White

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


see also   Animal,  Language  &  Pun  Sections
Big Bird Feeder
Chicken Farm Wedding
Chicken Photobomb
Chicken Pie
Chicken Rider
Chicken Shoes
Chicken Wire Art
Comfortable Chicken
Fast Beach Chicken
Free Chicken Strips
High Wire Bear Feeder
How To Serve Chicken Wings To A Man
Hummingbird Feeder
Life Cycle of a Chicken
Polish Chicken Farm
Redneck Bird Feeder
Redneck Chicken Farmer
Things That Taste Like Chicken

 

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27-Jan-2020