The Doctor ordered his patient to have not more than one drink a day.
The next week the patient reported that he was following orders and was up to March, 2018.
Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz
I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright
Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins
When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling
Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns
I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde
Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz
I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright
Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins
When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling
Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns
I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde
Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster
see also Beer & Doctor Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Bartender Spill
Costco Wine
Cup That Runneth Over
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Long, Happy Marriage
Looking For Your Wife?
One Glass Per Day
One Slice
Real Man’s Point System
Red Wine Diet
Redneck Wine Glass
Romance Lost
Secret of a Good Marriage
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Understanding Women
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29-Nov-2021 |