The Doctor ordered his patient to have not more than one drink a day.
The next week the patient reported that he was following orders and was up to March, 2018.
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson
I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed
When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown
Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII
A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns
When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx
I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed
When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown
Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII
A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns
When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx
I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
see also Beer & Doctor Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Bartender Spill
Costco Wine
Cup That Runneth Over
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Long, Happy Marriage
Looking For Your Wife?
One Glass Per Day
One Slice
Real Man’s Point System
Red Wine Diet
Redneck Wine Glass
Romance Lost
Secret of a Good Marriage
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Understanding Women
 Hide And Sikh |  Yoga Pants |  Really Good Day |  Be Someone |  My Time |
 Algebra Relationship |  Mask Shortage |  Exit Not Found |  Early Shave |  Dementia Purse |
 Quarantine Response |  Braided Horse Tail |  Government Debt |  Statue Tug Of War |  Kiosk Hours |
 Tight Fit |  Life Is Beautiful |  Buddha Pear |  Yes! |  Sunday Service Social Distancing |
30-Mar-2020 |