The Doctor ordered his patient to have not more than one drink a day.
The next week the patient reported that he was following orders and was up to March, 2018.
Liquor Store: A stupor market - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed
Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw
Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown
I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn
When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
The fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth. - Cole Porter
Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris
Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray
When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling
Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster
I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed
Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw
Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown
I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn
When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
The fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth. - Cole Porter
Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris
Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray
When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling
Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster
see also Beer & Doctor Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Bartender Spill
Costco Wine
Cup That Runneth Over
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Long, Happy Marriage
Looking For Your Wife?
One Glass Per Day
One Slice
Real Man’s Point System
Red Wine Diet
Redneck Wine Glass
Romance Lost
Secret of a Good Marriage
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Understanding Women
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