Thanksgiving During Biblical Times

Kumquat Dip, Kentucky Fried Dove & Roasted Camel Hump - yum, yum!

[Ways Thanksgiving might have gone down during Biblical Times...]

7. Terrible chariot jams on the way to Grandma’s house;

6. Young Israelite boys with slingshots shooting at the giant inflatable Caesar balloons which highlight every Phatama’s Thanksgiving day parade (Phatama, a holiday tradition for 60 years);

5. You think 4 days of turkey leftovers get old? Imagine roasting a camel... “Would you like the hump or a leg?”

4. No meal would be complete without an appetizer tray consisting of kumquat dip, those little round sausages that everybody likes but don’t know what they’re called, and Kentucky fried dove;

3. Ahkmed Seltzer, helping heartburn sufferers for 3 score and 7 years;

2. Men bonding after dinner while watching rip roaring gladiator games on TV; and

1. Women suddenly having the urge to go to the Jerusalem manufacturers’ marketplace the next day.


QuotaBills
Religion altars the mind. - Tony Follari

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

Profit: Religious guy who talks to God - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every religion at its core is exclusive. - Ravi Zacharias

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

When it is a matter of money, all men are of the same religion. - Voltaire

A rigorous religion can be conceived and nurtured in ignorance. - Ravi Zacharias

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

Energy, like the Biblical grain of the mustard seed, will remove mountains. - Hosea Ballou

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

Church is the only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members. - William Temple

I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth. - Carl Sandburg

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

The first time I sang in the Church choir, two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

If religion is to be treated with intellectual respect, then it must stand the test of truth. - Ravi Zacharias

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

When you come to religion, you come to a place. When you come to Jesus Christ, you come to a person. - Ravi Zacharias

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. - Billy Sunday

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

Some wish to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell. - C.T. Studd

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are the same people. - G K Chesterton

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

The secret of my success? It is simple. It is found in the Bible, 'In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.' - George Washington Carver

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin

Only through repentance and faith in Christ can anyone be saved. No religious activity will be sufficient, only true faith in Jesus Christ alone. - Ravi Zacharias


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12-Aug-2022