Elephant Stew

Recipe for a Large Family Reunion


Cut one elephant into bit-sized pieces. This will take about two months.

Cover with brown gravy and cook over a kerosene fire for four weeks at 465 degrees.

If more than 3,800 guests are expected, add 2 rabbits. But only if absolutely necessary, as most people do not like hare in their stew.




QuotaBills
Hunger is a good cook. - Proverb

Talk doesn't cook rice. - Chinese Proverb

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Rabbit: Hare today, mink tomorrow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb

If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one. - Russian Proverb

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. - John Steinbeck

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Only a genius can say these four words, four times really fast without getting tongue twisted: eye, yam, stew, peed - Unknown

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

I love spaghetti. And I like to cook spaghetti. And I used to eat it every day. I weighed thirty pounds more than I do now. - Christopher Walken

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost


see also   Animal  Section
African Car Wash
Animal Groups
Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant
Do Not Feed The Animals
Downhill Safari
Elephant Blues
Elephant Breath
Elephant Bus
Elephant Circumcision
Elephant Dung Decorative Paper
Elephant Enema
Elephant Haircut
Elephant Hand
Elephant Heist
Elephant Instructions
Elephant Ludo
Elephant Nest
Elephant Phonics
Elephant Soccer
Elephant Sunset
Elephant Trampoline
Elephant’s Long Memory
Herd Mentality
Hide & Seek
How Many Elephant Legs?
Identity Theft
IrrElephant
Kermit Frog Loan
King Of The Jungle
Let ’Er Rip
Looking For Something?
Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All
No-Elephant Building
Overloaded
Pooped Out Playground
Potty Training An Elephant
Professional Test
River Crossing
Serengeti Tug of War
Stretch Elephants
This Is My Road
Touching Elephant Story
Trunk Sleeper
Viagra Elephant
Weight Wait
When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros
Zebra Keyboard

 

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24-Oct-2021