Elephant Stew

Recipe for a Large Family Reunion


Cut one elephant into bit-sized pieces. This will take about two months.

Cover with brown gravy and cook over a kerosene fire for four weeks at 465 degrees.

If more than 3,800 guests are expected, add 2 rabbits. But only if absolutely necessary, as most people do not like hare in their stew.




QuotaBills
Talk doesn't cook rice. - Chinese Proverb

Warren: Good name for a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Rabbit: Hare today, mink tomorrow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

Leftovers: 1. Mull-again stew; 2. Repast history. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb

Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work for McDonald's. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

Only a genius can say these four words, four times really fast without getting tongue twisted: eye, yam, stew, peed - Unknown

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega


see also   Animal  Section
African Car Wash
Animal Groups
Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant
Do Not Feed The Animals
Downhill Safari
Elephant Blues
Elephant Breath
Elephant Bus
Elephant Circumcision
Elephant Dung Decorative Paper
Elephant Enema
Elephant Haircut
Elephant Hand
Elephant Heist
Elephant Instructions
Elephant Ludo
Elephant Nest
Elephant Phonics
Elephant Soccer
Elephant Sunset
Elephant Trampoline
Elephant’s Long Memory
Herd Mentality
Hide & Seek
How Many Elephant Legs?
Identity Theft
IrrElephant
Kermit Frog Loan
King Of The Jungle
Let ’Er Rip
Looking For Something?
Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All
No-Elephant Building
Overloaded
Pooped Out Playground
Potty Training An Elephant
Professional Test
River Crossing
Serengeti Tug of War
Stretch Elephants
This Is My Road
Touching Elephant Story
Trunk Sleeper
Viagra Elephant
Weight Wait
When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros
Zebra Keyboard

 

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01-Aug-2021