Elephant Stew

Recipe for a Large Family Reunion


Cut one elephant into bit-sized pieces. This will take about two months.

Cover with brown gravy and cook over a kerosene fire for four weeks at 465 degrees.

If more than 3,800 guests are expected, add 2 rabbits. But only if absolutely necessary, as most people do not like hare in their stew.




QuotaBills
Talk doesn't cook rice. - Chinese Proverb

Warren: Good name for a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Rabbit: Hare today, mink tomorrow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be brave, little rabbit. Take a chance. - Cherise Sinclair

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one. - Russian Proverb

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. - John Steinbeck

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

I love spaghetti. And I like to cook spaghetti. And I used to eat it every day. I weighed thirty pounds more than I do now. - Christopher Walken

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega


see also   Animal  Section
African Car Wash
Animal Groups
Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant
Do Not Feed The Animals
Downhill Safari
Elephant Blues
Elephant Breath
Elephant Bus
Elephant Circumcision
Elephant Dung Decorative Paper
Elephant Enema
Elephant Haircut
Elephant Hand
Elephant Heist
Elephant Instructions
Elephant Ludo
Elephant Nest
Elephant Phonics
Elephant Soccer
Elephant Sunset
Elephant Trampoline
Elephant’s Long Memory
Herd Mentality
Hide & Seek
How Many Elephant Legs?
Identity Theft
IrrElephant
Kermit Frog Loan
King Of The Jungle
Let ’Er Rip
Looking For Something?
Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All
No-Elephant Building
Overloaded
Pooped Out Playground
Potty Training An Elephant
Professional Test
River Crossing
Serengeti Tug of War
Stretch Elephants
This Is My Road
Touching Elephant Story
Trunk Sleeper
Viagra Elephant
Weight Wait
When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros
Zebra Keyboard

 

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19-May-2022