Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?

Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”

Mathematics: the only subject that counts. - Unknown

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. - George Santayana

Conflict Of Interest: A dental school with a hockey team - Daffynitions

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman

Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight

Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb

Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius. - Edward Gibbon

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. - Albert Einstein

Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

University: 1. A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand; 2. A mental institution. - Daffynitions

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. - Kurt Vonnegut

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Mathematics may be compared to a mill of exquisite workmanship, which grinds your stuff to any degree of fineness. - Thomas Huxley

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman

The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can't be learned at school. - Haruki Murakami

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

Probably no symbol in mathematics has evoked as much mystery, romanticism, misconception and human interest as the number pi. - William L Schaaf

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes

You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey

see also   College,  School  &  Redneck  Sections
2 Pi Watch
Accurate Pie Chart
Apple Pi
Catholic Math
Cats and Backpacks
Cheat of the Year
Chocolate Math
Constipated Mathematician
Dancing Mathematician
Detroit High School - Math Proficiency Exam
Epic Pi
Ethiopian Math
Expandable Equation
Girlfriend Math
Hangman Math
Hot Dog Math
How Can This Be True, Math Nerds?
Illusive Dice
Kwik-Mart Math
Logic, Math & Reasoning Quotes
Long Math Class
Ma & Pa Math: 5 into 25 equals 14
Math Clock
Math Dice
Math in Africa
Math Mug
Math Puzzle
Math Riddle
Math Watch
Mathematician’s Truck
Mennonite Longhand Math
Phone Number Magic Trick
Pi Chart
Proof That 7 x 13 = 28
Snake Math
Teacher Arrested at Airport
WalMart Math


Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious