Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?

Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb

Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh

Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Probably no symbol in mathematics has evoked as much mystery, romanticism, misconception and human interest as the number pi. - William L Schaaf

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown

see also   College,  School  &  Redneck  Sections
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