Teacher: “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba: “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”
Teacher: “What is a proof?”
Bubba: “One-half percent of alcohol.”
Mathematics has beauties of its own. - J.W.A. Young
College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost
I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost
Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin
Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown
A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton
Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown
Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain
Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie
In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann
Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb
Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh
For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon
Let us grant that the pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human spirit. - Alfred Whitehead
When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson
I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander
I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein
It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero
Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather
Mathematics may be compared to a mill of exquisite workmanship, which grinds your stuff to any degree of fineness. - Thomas Huxley
You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor
The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman
Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok
It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty
The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal
Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin
I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann
I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen
If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown
College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost
I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost
Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin
Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown
A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton
Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown
Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain
Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie
In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann
Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb
Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh
For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon
Let us grant that the pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human spirit. - Alfred Whitehead
When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson
I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander
I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein
It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero
Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather
Mathematics may be compared to a mill of exquisite workmanship, which grinds your stuff to any degree of fineness. - Thomas Huxley
You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor
The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman
Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok
It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty
The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal
Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin
I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann
I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen
If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown
see also College, School & Redneck Sections
2 Pi Watch
Accurate Pie Chart
Apple Pi
Catholic Math
Cats and Backpacks
Cheat of the Year
Chocolate Math
Constipated Mathematician
Dancing Mathematician
Detroit High School - Math Proficiency Exam
Epic Pi
Ethiopian Math
Expandable Equation
Girlfriend Math
Hangman Math
Hot Dog Math
How Can This Be True, Math Nerds?
Illusive Dice
Kwik-Mart Math
Logic, Math & Reasoning Quotes
Long Math Class
Ma & Pa Math: 5 into 25 equals 14
Math Clock
Math Dice
Math in Africa
Math Mug
Math Puzzle
Math Riddle
Math Watch
Mathematician’s Truck
Mennonite Longhand Math
Phone Number Magic Trick
Pi Chart
Proof That 7 x 13 = 28
Snake Math
Teacher Arrested at Airport
WalMart Math
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09-Dec-2019 |