Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?

Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”

Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

Math research is more like a marathon. - Terence Tao

College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. - Bill Watterson

Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education. - Theodore Roosevelt

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

I was named the Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and to get me through things. - Guillermo Diaz

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey

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