Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?


Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”



QuotaBills
Mathematics: the only subject that counts. - Unknown

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. - George Santayana

Conflict Of Interest: A dental school with a hockey team - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman

Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight

Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb

Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius. - Edward Gibbon

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. - Albert Einstein

Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

University: 1. A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand; 2. A mental institution. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. - Kurt Vonnegut

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Mathematics may be compared to a mill of exquisite workmanship, which grinds your stuff to any degree of fineness. - Thomas Huxley

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman

The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can't be learned at school. - Haruki Murakami

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

Probably no symbol in mathematics has evoked as much mystery, romanticism, misconception and human interest as the number pi. - William L Schaaf

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes

You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey


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19-May-2022