Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?

Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”

Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe

Mathematics: the only subject that counts. - Unknown

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman

Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes

You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey

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