Aunt From Desert Storm

End of story morals


The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

“Johnny, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Judy. Aunt Judy was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, ’til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands.”

“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?”

“Stay the heck away from Aunt Judy when she’s been drinking.





QuotaBills
The family is one of nature's masterpieces. - George Santayana

Beware of men who flourish with hereditary honors. - Latin Proverb

There is no place like home - except Grandma's. - Unknown

Sticking with your family is what makes it a family. - Mitch Albom

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. - Jesus Christ

Family is not an important thing - it's everything. - Michael J. Fox

Dishtemper: What family members suffer from after dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The two things children wear out are clothes and parents. - Unknown

The presidency is temporary, but the family is permanent. - Yvonne de Gaulle

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest. - Mark Twain

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

There is never a problem child; there is only a problem parent. - A.S. Neill

Making the family a top priority will invariably bring success. - Zig Ziglar

I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

You can't choose your ancestors, and neither can your descendants. - Unknown

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations. - Oscar Wilde

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. - Rita Rudner

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

No man can cause more grief than one clinging blindly to the voices of his ancestors. - William Faulkner

When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary. - Thomas Paine

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

Character is better than ancestry, and personal conduct is of more importance than the highest. - Thomas J. Barnardo

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

I don't know who my grandfather was, I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be. - Abraham Lincoln

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it. - Kin Hubbard

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. - Unknown

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost

Prayer turns ordinary parents into prophets who shape the destinies of their children, grandchildren, and every generation that follows. - Mark Batterson

Clay. It's rain, dead leaves, dust, all my dead ancestors. Stones that have been ground into sand. Mud. The whole cycle of life and death. - Martine Vermeulen


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23-Jan-2022