Aunt From Desert Storm

End of story morals


The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

“Johnny, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Judy. Aunt Judy was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, ’til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands.”

“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?”

“Stay the heck away from Aunt Judy when she’s been drinking.





QuotaBills
You live as long as you are remembered. - Russian Proverb

Grammatical Error: When Grandma screws up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do well and you will have no need for ancestors. - Voltaire

There is no place like home - except Grandma's. - Unknown

My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest. - Mark Twain

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield

Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Future generations may well ask themselves, what were our parents thinking? - Al Gore

Those who inherit fortunes are often more troublesome than those who make them. - African Saying

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

Conventions are like coins, an easy way of dealing with the commerce of relations. - Freya Stark

People will not look forward to posterity who never look backward to their ancestors. - Edmund Burke

It is a desirable thing to be well-descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors. - Plutarch

No man can cause more grief than one clinging blindly to the voices of his ancestors. - William Faulkner

Your family is depending on you. No better reason to bring all your game all the time. - Grant Cardone

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter

A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend. - Unknown

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave
when they think that their children are naive. - Ogden Nash

I only hope when I have my own family that every day I see a little more of my father in me. - Keith Urban

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, and that's what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash

I don't know who my grandfather was, I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be. - Abraham Lincoln

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller

There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his. - Helen Keller

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

Happiness is being content with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life and good friends. - Divyanka Tripathi

It's a family that's loaded with grudges and passion. We come from a long line of robbers and highwaymen in Italy. - Nicolas Cage

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

Our ancestors are very good kind of folks; but they are the last people I should choose to have a visiting acquaintance with. - Richard B. Sheridan

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie

I can't help detesting my relations. I suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves. - Oscar Wilde


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20-Oct-2020