Aunt From Desert Storm

End of story morals


The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

“Johnny, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Judy. Aunt Judy was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, ’til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands.”

“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?”

“Stay the heck away from Aunt Judy when she’s been drinking.





QuotaBills
Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Take it from me, parents just don't understand. - Will Smith

The presidency is temporary, but the family is permanent. - Yvonne de Gaulle

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield

Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg

The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard. - Robin Williams

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. - Rita Rudner

Those who inherit fortunes are often more troublesome than those who make them. - African Saying

If we stand tall, it's because we stand on the shoulders of many ancestors. - Unknown

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

My parents treated my like I had a brain - which, in turn, caused me to have one. - Diane Lane

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero

People will not look forward to posterity who never look backward to their ancestors. - Edmund Burke

It is a desirable thing to be well-descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors. - Plutarch

No man can cause more grief than one clinging blindly to the voices of his ancestors. - William Faulkner

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian

The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. - Voltaire

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

My parents have been visiting me for a few days. I just dropped them off at the airport. They leave tomorrow. - Margaret Smith

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Hello. I don't believe we have been introduced. R2-D2? A pleasure to meet you. I am C-3PO, Human-Cyborg Relations. - C-3PO

Our ancestors are very good kind of folks; but they are the last people I should choose to have a visiting acquaintance with. - Richard B. Sheridan

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


see also   Family, Relationship  &  School  Sections
Adaptive Roots
Ancestry Rewind
Babysitting Kids
Chimera Genetics
Family Fun
Family Hands
Family Picture
Family Planning Advice
Family Ties
Family Tree
Get Along Shirt
Hands On Tree
Mom Lookout
Parent Delete
Sister DNA
The Van Gogh Family Tree
Tom Lee Music Franchise Opportunities
Walker Buddies

 

Parking Forever

I've Got Time

Red Wine Diet

Nice Try, Mom

Flight of the Ladybug

Time To Retire

Chess On The Wall

Tree Face

Bad Day Flyer

Back Bard

St. Peter's Fish

Feed Me

Horse Model

Get In Line!

Coffee World

Horsing Around

Think Big

The Wurst Spiral I've Seen

Grass Leak

Dead Sea Fish
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

09-Dec-2019