Aunt From Desert Storm

End of story morals


The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

“Johnny, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Judy. Aunt Judy was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, ’til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands.”

“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?”

“Stay the heck away from Aunt Judy when she’s been drinking.





QuotaBills
Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

Grammatical Error: When Grandma screws up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The family is the nucleus of civilization. - William Durant

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Do well and you will have no need for ancestors. - Voltaire

Sticking with your family is what makes it a family. - Mitch Albom

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. - Jesus Christ

Anybody can make history, only a great man can write it. - Oscar Wilde

My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest. - Mark Twain

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you. - Dick Cavett

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. - Dave Barry

My first advice on how not to grow old would be to choose your ancestors carefully. - Bertrand Russell

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers. - Daniel J. Boorstin

My parents always told me I could do anything, but never told me how long it would take. - Rita Rudner

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde

I only hope when I have my own family that every day I see a little more of my father in me. - Keith Urban

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it. - Haim Ginott

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

Grilling outside with my parents at the Jersey shore. We would grill lobster and corn in the summer. - Bobby Flay

It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it. - Kin Hubbard

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates

For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled. - Richard P Feynman

My family didn't have a lot of money, and I'm grateful for that. Money is the longest route to happiness. - Evangeline Lilly

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

The roots of the problems we face in the world, in our national life, and in our family and personal lives are spiritual. - Stephen Covey

Happiness is being content with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life and good friends. - Divyanka Tripathi

It's a family that's loaded with grudges and passion. We come from a long line of robbers and highwaymen in Italy. - Nicolas Cage

The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight. - Joseph Addison

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

Prayer turns ordinary parents into prophets who shape the destinies of their children, grandchildren, and every generation that follows. - Mark Batterson

Our ancestors ... possessed a right, which nature has given to all men, of departing from the country in which chance, not choice has placed them. - Thomas Jefferson

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. - Oscar Wilde


see also   Family, Relationship  &  School  Sections
Adaptive Roots
Ancestry Rewind
Babysitting Kids
Chimera Genetics
Family Fun
Family Hands
Family Picture
Family Planning Advice
Family Ties
Family Tree
Get Along Shirt
Hands On Tree
Mom Lookout
Parent Delete
Sister DNA
The Van Gogh Family Tree
Tom Lee Music Franchise Opportunities
Walker Buddies

 

Media Bondage

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed

Sports Hernias

Low Expectation Autographs

The Moist Wet Territories

Cat Doormat

Redneck Foosball

Shining Stars

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Bach Flip

Apathy Mountain

My Toaster Is Broken

Solemate

Double Vision

Please Help My Car

Adultery

Moses' USB Tablets

Virus Update

Carnations vs. Roses

Waterproof Notepad
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

12-Apr-2021