The Night Before Mother's Day

by Natasha Wing

’Twas the night before Mother’s Day when as quiet as a mouse,
Dad told us his plan to get Mom out of the house.

Her sneakers were set by the doorway with care
In hopes that her running pals soon would be there.

When out in the yard there arose quite a crowd.
“Come on, let’s go girl,” her friends shouted aloud.

So Mom in her sweat suit, and a red baseball cap,
Plugged in her earphones, and jogged off in a snap.

Away to the kitchen we flew like a flash,
As if we were running a 100 yard dash.

We measured and mixed a delicious cake batter,
And blended the frosting, making way too much splatter.

We made fancy cards, and added our “I love you’s”,
And a special coupon that Mom sure could use.

When Mom came home, she saw the mess in the sink.
“What did I miss?” she asked.
“Nothing!” Dad said with a wink.

We children then nestled all snug in our beds,
While visions of Mom danced in our heads.

The next morning we presented a giant bouquet.
“It’s for you Mom,” we cried. “Happy Mother’s Day.”

She read both our cards, and after wiping her eyes
Said, “A private spa session! What a lovely surprise.”

We took Mom to the kitchen where our spa was set up,
Dad served her black coffee in an extra-large cup.

We rubbed her shoulders; we massaged her feet.
Mom sighed and smiled, “You kids are so sweet.”

I wrapped a towel turban to cover her hair,
And we dabbed on a mud mask, no mess anywhere.

I painted her nails - what glittery fun!
Then a top coat of polish - voilą, manicure done.

Dad said, “The chef will be serving a divine gourmet brunch.”
That’s a meal that comes between breakfast and lunch.

So Mom hurried off to go and get dressed.
We took seats at the table, behaving our best.

When what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But the perfect model for ‘Mother of the Year’.

Her eyes, how they sparkled. Her brown hair, how curly;
Her cheeks were like roses, her skirt very twirly.

We raised our juice glasses, and offered a toast,
To the world’s greatest Mom - and that’s not a boast.

Mom thanked us for everything that brought her such cheer
She wished it could be Mother’s Day every day of the year.

Mother Superiority - Archie Bunker

Mother is a verb, not a noun. - Shonda Rhimes

Grammer: Your father's mother. - Daffynitions

Necessity is the mother of invention. - Unknown

Fearlessness is the mother of reinvention. - Arianna Huffington

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

I know how to do anything - I'm a mom. - Roseanne Barr

Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. - Sophocles

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. - Spanish Proverb

Necessity, who is the mother of our invention. - Plato

A mother understands what a child does not say. - Jewish Proverb

Me and your mother ain't no duke or duke-ess. - Archie Bunker

There is no place like home - except Grandma's. - Unknown

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

My mom had a very difficult childhood. My childhood. - Cindy Marzahn

Air pollution is turning Mother Nature prematurely gray. - Irv Kupcinet

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

She's descended from a long line her mother listened to. - Gypsy Rose Lee

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

A mother is a story with no beginning. That is what defines her. - Meghan O'Rourke

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Biplane: The advice I got from my mother on purchasing underwear. - Daffynitions

My mother was my role model before I even knew what that word was. - Lisa Leslie

Mother is a verb. It's something you do. Not just who you are. - Dorothy C Fisher

A mother is your first friend, your best friend, your forever friend. - Unknown

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. - Beverly Jones

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle. - Phyllis Diller

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones. - Mignon McLaughlin

Today is the anniversary of you being expelled from your mother's uterus. - Unknown

Spoiled Rotten: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma - Daffynitions

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

I not only think we tamper with Mother Nature, I think that Mother Nature wants us to. - Willard Gatlin

Mother is the heartbeat in the home; and without her, there seems to be no heart throb. - Leroy Brownlow

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

My mom always said, "Don't say if I make it", say, "When I make it!" - Mariah Carey

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. - Robert Brault

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, Just wait. - Judy Tenuta

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

My mother reads the obituary page every day, but she could never understand how people always die in alphabetical order. - Frank Carson

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed. - Linda Wooten

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look 'like a tramp' - Daffynitions

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

My mother was a reader, and she read to us. She read us Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when I was six and my brother was eight. I never forgot it. - Stephen King

The most beautiful word on the lips of mankind is the word 'Mother', and the most beautiful call is the call of 'My Mother'. - Kahlil Gibran

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten

see also   Family   Section

The Night Before Mother's Day on Starting Right by Dan MacAulay ('DannyMac' Podcast)

Mother’s Day Gift - Not
Mothers Day Service
Mother’s Day Special

A Mother’s Love
A Woman’s Mind
Baby Priorities
Can I Lick It
Can I Lick The Bowl
Evolution of Women
Foal Teddy Bear
Greatest Daughter
Happy Mother’s Day
History of Mother’s Day
Kid Straps
Laxative Cream Pie
Look After Your Wife
Looking For Your Wife?
Machine Wash Instructions for Teenagers
Mad Mother Sale
Mary Go Round
MOM - Job Description
Mom Lookout
Mom Posting
Mom Tested, Mom Approved
Mom’s Dictionary
Mom’s Kid
Mom’s Lost Cake Delivery
Mom’s Report Card
Mom’s Survival Tips
Mom’s The Word
Mommy’s Diet
Mother Wrench's Gripping Story
Multitasking Mom
My Mom’s The Best
Nice Try, Mom
Ode to Mothers
Paint Shop Pros
Post Research
Protective Wings
Puppy Love
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Slap Me Into Next Year
Snow Birth
Snowy Owl Substitute
Some People Raise Children
To Mother
Top 10 Sayings of Biblical Mothers
Understanding Women
Warm Nap
Wheelchair Priorities
Why Women Are Crabby
Woman Without Her Man
Work At Home Mom


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