Government Measurement

Flagpole math for labourers


Ray and Bob, two Government maintenance guys, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

“We’re supposed to find the height of the flagpole”, said Bob, “but we don’t have a ladder.”

The woman said, “Hand me that wrench out of your toolbox.”
She loosened a few bolts, then laid the pole down. She then took a tape measure from their toolbox, took a measurement and announced, “Eighteen feet, six inches” and walked away.

Ray shook his head and laughed. “Well, ain’t that just like a ‘Miss-know-it-all’ woman?” he said. “We need the height and she gives us the length!”

Ray and Bob are still working for the Government.


QuotaBills
Happiness is not the end of life; character is. - Henry Ward Beecher

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny. - Kin Hubbard

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings. - Dr. Samuel Johnson

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

It is easy to be nice, even to an enemy - from lack of character. - Dag Hammarskjold

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

You don't put skill on like a coat - you build it day by day. - Unknown

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells

A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. - Max Lucado

The final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank

Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. - Peter F Drucker

The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes. - Tony Blair

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong. - Peter T. Mcintyre

Leadership is not something you do to people; it is something you do for people. - Ken Blanchard

The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity. - Zig Ziglar

Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. - Vince Lombardi

You do not lead by hitting people over the head; that is assault, not leadership. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Solitude is as needful to the imagination as society is wholesome for the character. - James Russel Lowell

Confidence is like a dragon where, for every head cut off, two more heads grow back. - Criss Jami

Be your character what it will, it will be known, and nobody will take it upon your word. - Lord Chesterfield

Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home. - Henry Drummond

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it. - David S Jordan

Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well too. - David Storey

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

The acceptance of certain realities doesn't preclude idealism. It can lead to certain breakthroughs. - Rem Koolhaas

Don't be accusing me of taking a bribe. You know what they call that, "definition of character." - Archie Bunker

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

It is not enough to take steps which may some day lead to a goal; each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

As the eagle was killed by the arrow winged with his own feather, so the hand of the world is wounded by its own skill. - Helen Keller

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank

The formulation of a problem is often more essential than its solution, which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skill. - Albert Einstein

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Thirteen roadways lead through life
To thirteen doors of death,
Homeward from foolish fears and strife
We float on failing breath. - Tao


see also   Dubm,  Feminist,  Government  &  Work  Sections
City Work Crew’s Slow Day
Government Snow Plow
Management Team - Leading by Example
Men At Work
New Manager’s Crisis Envelopes
The New Flagpole
Tired Flagpole

 

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23-Feb-2020