Redneck Swimming Pools

Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? - George Carlin

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Leadership, like swimming, cannot be learned by reading about it. - Henry Mintzberg

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. - Warren Buffett

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

For a great gaming experience, make sure the rails, cushion and slate of the pool table are of the best quality. - Unknown

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson