Irish Alzheimers

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fainted when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in Church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?” Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn comes to Church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of Church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.” The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?” Murphy said, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.” The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without the hat than burn in Hell, right?” Murphy slowly shook his head and said, “No, Father, after ya talked about ’Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’, I remembered where I left me hat.” QuotaBills Paddy O Furniture: Irish lawn chairs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch see also   Nationality  &  Religious  Sections Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s? Alzheimer’s Wing Corn Maze For Old People Manitoba Health Care's Test For Alzheimer's You Never Call Flooded Ireland Streets Going Green for Ireland Green Beards Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey! Irish Bar Irish Birth Control Irish Blessings and Sayings Irish Diplomacy Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos Irish Drink Irish Exam Irish Flood Irish Handcuffs Irish Rugby Fans Irish School Demolition Irish Sky Garden Crater Irish Sunblock Irish Virgin Irish Weather Forecasting Irish Yoga - Day 1 Irishman’s First Baseball Game Little Leprechaun Queen’s Recent Visit to Ireland Rainbow Beer St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks St. Patrick’s Day Riddles St. Patrick’s Dog St. Patrick’s Pot of Gold Swimming Buddies Teddy Bear Dance The Fert What’s Under The Kilt? Whiskey Around The World Whiskey Silly   Amplified Beer How to Twerk at Work $383.00 Paint Job Wine Time Finally Scooter Hearse Thailand Ferry Hard Hat Safety Water Coolant Spray-On Clothing Bright Bookshelf Saddle Surprise Politicians Be Like Senior Aerobics Foiled Again Redneck Beer Hunter

04-Jun-2020