Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fainted when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in Church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?”
Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn comes to Church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of Church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”
The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”
Murphy said, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”
The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without the hat than burn in Hell, right?”
Murphy slowly shook his head and said, “No, Father, after ya talked about ’Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’, I remembered where I left me hat.”
When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh
I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson
I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn
Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth
I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck
I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock
I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford
Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen
I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach
Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown
What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying
The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood
I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole
The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer
The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown
The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle
The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley
I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski
I have Dementia
My responses may be slow.
Take your time and wait for me,
It means more than you can know! - Unknown
When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan
With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan
It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan
I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson
I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn
Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth
I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck
I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock
I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford
Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen
I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach
Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown
What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying
The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood
I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole
The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer
The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown
The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle
The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley
I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski
I have Dementia
My responses may be slow.
Take your time and wait for me,
It means more than you can know! - Unknown
When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan
With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan
It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan
I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
see also Nationality & Religious Sections
Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s?
Alzheimer’s Wing
Corn Maze For Old People
Manitoba Health Care's Test For Alzheimer's
You Never Call
Flooded Ireland Streets
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Diplomacy
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Handcuffs
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish School Demolition
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Sunblock
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Irish Yoga - Day 1
Irishman’s First Baseball Game
Little Leprechaun
Queen’s Recent Visit to Ireland
Rainbow Beer
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
St. Patrick’s Pot of Gold
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
What’s Under The Kilt?
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Silly
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25-Nov-2020 |