Rools Four Righters

If yore a groan reader, this is 4U & Jethro


 1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
 2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
 3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
 4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
 5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
 6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
 7.. Be more or less specific.
 8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
 9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


QuotaBills
Rules and regulations and priororities. - Archie Bunker

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Nothing you can't spell will ever work. - Will Rogers

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Rule No. 1 of life. Do what makes YOU happy. - Unknown

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

It's a poor rule that won't work both ways. - Frederick Douglass

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. - Henry David Thoreau

Experience shows that exceptions are as true as the rules. - Edith Ronald Mirrielees

Temptations come, as a general rule, when they are sought. - Margaret Oliphant

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

Rules of society are nothing; one's conscience is the umpire. - Madame Dudevant

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

Toss out the rules; don't think outside the box, throw the box away. - Nido Qubein

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false-face for the urge to rule it. - H L Mencken

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

It's my rule never to lose me temper till it would be detrimental to keep it. - Sean O Casey

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

The first rule is not to lose money. The second rule is not to forget the first rule. - Warren Buffet

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner

I have made it a rule never to be with a person ten minutes without trying to make him happier. - Unknown

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

Things that aren't important, that have nothing to do with winning and losing, don't have to be a rule. - Peter Richmond

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Do something everyday that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. - Mark Twain

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong. - Andy Rooney

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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10-Dec-2019