Rools Four Righters

If yore a groan reader, this is 4U & Jethro


 1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
 2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
 3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
 4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
 5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
 6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
 7.. Be more or less specific.
 8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
 9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


QuotaBills
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia

Synonym Bun: What a thesaurus eats for breakfast - Unknown

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

Many people set rules to keep from making decisions. - Mike Krzyzewski

The art of being a slave is to rule one's master. - Diogenes

Ratify: To use a spell and turn a person into a rodent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

I failed kindergarten because I couldn't spell my last name. - Zach Galifianakis

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. - Joseph Cambell

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Laws are not masters but servants, and he rules them who obeys them. - Henry Ward Beecher

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

As a rule we disbelieve all the facts and theories for which we have no use. - William James

Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. - Thomas Carlyle

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false-face for the urge to rule it. - H L Mencken

The best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little softer than your head. - Unknown

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems. - Rene Descartes

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Even a wise man knows doubt from time to time, it is the fool who allows it to rule his judgement. - Jennifer Hudock

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

Knowledge is a deadly friend when no one sets the rules;
The fate of all mankind I see is in the hand of fools. - King Crimson

An organization's ability to learn, and translate that learning into action rapidly, is the ultimate competitive advantage. - Jack Welch

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

The best managers figure out how to get great outcomes by setting the appropriate context, rather than by trying to control their people. - Reed Hastings

As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not. - Unknown

Our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more. - Oscar Wilde


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26-Jan-2022