Rools Four Righters

If yore a groan reader, this is 4U & Jethro


 1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
 2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
 3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
 4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
 5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
 6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
 7.. Be more or less specific.
 8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
 9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


QuotaBills
Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Rule No. 1 of life. Do what makes YOU happy. - Unknown

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Experience shows that exceptions are as true as the rules. - Edith Ronald Mirrielees

Temptations come, as a general rule, when they are sought. - Margaret Oliphant

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

I failed kindergarten because I couldn't spell my last name. - Zach Galifianakis

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. - Mark Twain

The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Laws are not masters but servants, and he rules them who obeys them. - Henry Ward Beecher

Rules are made for people who aren't willing to make up their own. - Chuck Yeager

Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together. - Max Eastman

The rule of my life is to make business a pleasure, and pleasure my business. - Aaron Burr

Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. - Thomas Carlyle

The best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little softer than your head. - Unknown

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

If you cannot understand me in my speech, how can you understand me in my silence? - Ravi Zacharias

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within. - Earl Nightingale

I got a simple rule about everybody. If you don’t treat me right – shame on you. - Louis Armstrong

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else. - Unknown

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

If we do not believe in freedom of speech for those we despise, we do not believe in it at all. - Noam Chomsky

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty: "Who cares?" - Tina Fey

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

There are only two rules for being successful. One, figure out exactly what you want to do, and two, do it. - Mario Cuomo

To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of the hearer as well as those of the speaker. - Frederick Douglass

A dinosaur out of context is like a character without a story. Worse than that, the character suffers from amnesia. - Jack Horner

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Three rules of work: Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. - Albert Einstein

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong. - Andy Rooney

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader

In composing, as a general rule, run your pen through every other word you have written; you have no idea what vigor it will give your style. - Sydney Smith

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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06-Jun-2020