Rools Four Righters

If yore a groan reader, this is 4U & Jethro


 1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
 2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
 3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
 4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
 5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
 6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
 7.. Be more or less specific.
 8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
 9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


QuotaBills
This virus just breaks all the rules. - Thomas Scott

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

When passion rules, she never rules wisely. - Ben Franklin

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Francis Bacon

Rule No. 1 of life. Do what makes YOU happy. - Unknown

Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

You must welcome change as the rule but not as your ruler. - Denis Waitley

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

My Golden Rule of Networking is simple: Don't keep score. - Harvey Mackay

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

I failed kindergarten because I couldn't spell my last name. - Zach Galifianakis

Laws are not masters but servants, and he rules them who obeys them. - Henry Ward Beecher

Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends. - Alphonse de Lamartine

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

If you cannot understand me in my speech, how can you understand me in my silence? - Ravi Zacharias

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty: "Who cares?" - Tina Fey

I, schooled in misery, know many purifying rites, and I know where speech is proper and where silence. - Aeschylus

There are only two rules for being successful. One, figure out exactly what you want to do, and two, do it. - Mario Cuomo

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is a good rule after reading a new book, never to allow yourself another new one till you have read an old one in between. - C S Lewis

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

If I had my life to live over again, I would have made a rule to read some poetry and listen to some music at least once every week. - Charles Darwin

The best managers figure out how to get great outcomes by setting the appropriate context, rather than by trying to control their people. - Reed Hastings

The rules of clockwork might apply to familiar objects such as snooker balls, but when it comes to atoms, the rules are those of roulette. - Paul Davies

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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29-Nov-2020