Rools Four Righters

If yore a groan reader, this is 4U & Jethro


 1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
 2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
 3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
 4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
 5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
 6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
 7.. Be more or less specific.
 8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
 9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


QuotaBills
Silence is safer than speech. - Epictetus

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Rules and regulations and priororities. - Archie Bunker

Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

When passion rules, she never rules wisely. - Ben Franklin

I am the Roman Emperor and am above grammar. - Emperor Sigismund

Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

I never had a set of rules. Every situation is different. - Red Auerbach

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. - Luqman

The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Laws are not masters but servants, and he rules them who obeys them. - Henry Ward Beecher

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. - Thomas Carlyle

It has been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake. - Mark Twain

The best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little softer than your head. - Unknown

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

If you cannot understand me in my speech, how can you understand me in my silence? - Ravi Zacharias

Music is the only thing I've ever known that doesn't have any rules at all. - Josh Homme

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

I, schooled in misery, know many purifying rites, and I know where speech is proper and where silence. - Aeschylus

Things that aren't important, that have nothing to do with winning and losing, don't have to be a rule. - Peter Richmond

To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of the hearer as well as those of the speaker. - Frederick Douglass

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

A simple rule of business is, if you do the things that are easier first, then you can actually make a lot of progress. - Mark Zuckerberg

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

If I had my life to live over again, I would have made a rule to read some poetry and listen to some music at least once every week. - Charles Darwin

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

The rules of clockwork might apply to familiar objects such as snooker balls, but when it comes to atoms, the rules are those of roulette. - Paul Davies

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If a story is not about the hearer he will not listen. And here I made a rule - a great and interesting story is about everyone or it will not last. - John Steinbeck


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08-Aug-2020