1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7.. Be more or less specific.
8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should
be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Silence is safer than speech. - Epictetus
Monogamy: A synonym for monotony. - Gregory Nunn
What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright
Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle
Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia
Ill can he rule the great that cannot reach the small. - Edmund Spenser
Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown
The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman
Temptations come, as a general rule, when they are sought. - Margaret Oliphant
You must welcome change as the rule but not as your ruler. - Denis Waitley
War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot
Reality can be lost when reason and language have been violated. - Ravi Zacharias
Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards
The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle
Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats
Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda
If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain
Wisdom is knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech. - Evangel
Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown
The rule of my life is to make business a pleasure, and pleasure my business. - Aaron Burr
Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy
We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde
I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson
Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
As a rule, what is out of sight disturbs men's minds more seriously than what they see. - Julius Caesar
Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The game is played not to protect the rules; rather, the rules are made to protect the game. - Ravi Zacharias
Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones
There are three basic rules for great comedy. Unfortunately no-one can remember what they are. - Arthur Smith
The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt
The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle
If I had my life to live over again, I would have made a rule to read some poetry and listen to some music at least once every week. - Charles Darwin
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin
As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not. - Unknown
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong. - Andy Rooney
Our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more. - Oscar Wilde
Language, Redneck & School Sections
Ain’t Peter’s Place
Back In Five Minutes
Basic Rules of English Spelling and Grammar
Beware of Atlanta Fountain Equiptment
Books Never Written
Chinese to English Translation
Commas Save Lives
“Do Not Read” Sign
Do Not Read Law
Does A Double Positive Equal A Negative?
Double Negative Education
English Teacher’s Hospital Greeting
Eye Halve A Spelling Checker
Graffiti Removing Graffiti
Hide And Sikh
I Like Cooking
Inglish Spikkers Welcom
Just Because You Are Right
Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!
Lhasa Them in Tibet
Little Johnny’s Beautiful Examples
Little Johnny’s Weather Forecast
Noisy Japanese Women
One Thousand Words
Open Too Long
Oredr Of Ltteers In a Wrod
Practice Safe Text
Punctuation Is Importanter
Read Your Book Case
Secruity Parking Spot
Testing Your French
The Importance of Correct Punctuation
This Is A Window
Why Germans Don’t Play Scrabble
Win A Free Ride
Woman Without Her Man
World’s Greatest Typo
Your In America
TP Roll Art
2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars
Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles
Run Down Apartments
Your Fly Is Down
Employee Factory - Join The Crowd!
How Did They Get There?
Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad
Reaching The Ocean
How To Make A Deer Stand
Make Your Own Plectrum
Too Little Too Late