1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7.. Be more or less specific.
8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should
be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Rules and regulations and priororities. - Archie Bunker
Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham
Nothing you can't spell will ever work. - Will Rogers
A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb
Rule No. 1 of life. Do what makes YOU happy. - Unknown
Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper
It's a poor rule that won't work both ways. - Frederick Douglass
Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. - Henry David Thoreau
Experience shows that exceptions are as true as the rules. - Edith Ronald Mirrielees
Temptations come, as a general rule, when they are sought. - Margaret Oliphant
You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne
Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown
Rules of society are nothing; one's conscience is the umpire. - Madame Dudevant
The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle
Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown
Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion
Toss out the rules; don't think outside the box, throw the box away. - Nido Qubein
I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand
The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer
The urge to save humanity is almost always a false-face for the urge to rule it. - H L Mencken
The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker
It's my rule never to lose me temper till it would be detrimental to keep it. - Sean O Casey
Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy
The first rule is not to lose money. The second rule is not to forget the first rule. - Warren Buffet
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante
Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere
I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner
I have made it a rule never to be with a person ten minutes without trying to make him happier. - Unknown
Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown
Things that aren't important, that have nothing to do with winning and losing, don't have to be a rule. - Peter Richmond
Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown
Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain
The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan
The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle
Do something everyday that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. - Mark Twain
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong. - Andy Rooney
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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