The minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.
The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.
When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way:
“The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday,
my new dentures were hurting me a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed
my wife’s dentures... and I couldn’t shut up.”
Floss like a boss! - Unknown
Keep calm and floss on. - Unknown
Teeth are always in style. - Dr. Seuss
Never floss with a stranger. - Joan Rivers
Irony is the hygiene of the mind. - Elizabeth Bibesco
Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. - Ogden Nash
Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko
Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. - William R. Alger
Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache. - Mae West
Conflict Of Interest: A dental school with a hockey team - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
He lied through his teeth and even his teeth were false. - Phil Callaway
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Live so that the pastor won't have to lie at your funeral. - Phil Callaway
Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes
If I'm feeling really wild I don't floss before bedtime. - Judith Viorst
I'm as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth. - Kris Kringle
Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist's bills. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw
Harmony makes small things grow; lack of it makes great things decay. - Sallust
Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson
It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter
Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown
For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare
Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl
Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett
Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice
It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson
Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown
Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown
I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman
He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery. - Harold Wilson
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis
In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache. - Garrison Keillor
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz
Keep calm and floss on. - Unknown
Teeth are always in style. - Dr. Seuss
Never floss with a stranger. - Joan Rivers
Irony is the hygiene of the mind. - Elizabeth Bibesco
Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. - Ogden Nash
Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko
Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. - William R. Alger
Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache. - Mae West
Conflict Of Interest: A dental school with a hockey team - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
He lied through his teeth and even his teeth were false. - Phil Callaway
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Live so that the pastor won't have to lie at your funeral. - Phil Callaway
Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes
If I'm feeling really wild I don't floss before bedtime. - Judith Viorst
I'm as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth. - Kris Kringle
Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist's bills. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw
Harmony makes small things grow; lack of it makes great things decay. - Sallust
Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson
It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter
Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown
For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare
Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl
Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett
Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice
It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson
Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown
Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown
I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman
He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery. - Harold Wilson
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis
In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache. - Garrison Keillor
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz
see also Aging, Dentist & Religious Sections
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
Dentist Talk
False Teeth
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
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