The minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.
The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.
When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way:
“The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday,
my new dentures were hurting me a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed
my wife’s dentures... and I couldn’t shut up.”
Keep calm and floss on. - Unknown
Never floss with a stranger. - Joan Rivers
The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller
We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown
Too much freedom can lead to the soul's decay. - Prince
Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko
Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. - William R. Alger
Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache. - Mae West
Conflict Of Interest: A dental school with a hockey team - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
He lied through his teeth and even his teeth were false. - Phil Callaway
Live so that the pastor won't have to lie at your funeral. - Phil Callaway
If I'm feeling really wild I don't floss before bedtime. - Judith Viorst
Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown
I'm as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth. - Kris Kringle
The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw
Harmony makes small things grow; lack of it makes great things decay. - Sallust
It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown
Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown
A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter
I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence
I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen
I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra
Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him heavily to the ground on top of me. - Mark Twain
A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown
Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash
Stomach: 1. The home of the swallow; 2. A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney
Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer
I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman
All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno
Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby
He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery. - Harold Wilson
E-Z Out Bolt and Stud Extractor: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is 10 times harder than any known drill bit. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw
Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
Zipper: Two rows of unsmiling teeth that often induce laughter in others, especially when inadvertently left open following a trip to the john - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz
Never floss with a stranger. - Joan Rivers
The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller
We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown
Too much freedom can lead to the soul's decay. - Prince
Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko
Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. - William R. Alger
Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache. - Mae West
Conflict Of Interest: A dental school with a hockey team - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
He lied through his teeth and even his teeth were false. - Phil Callaway
Live so that the pastor won't have to lie at your funeral. - Phil Callaway
If I'm feeling really wild I don't floss before bedtime. - Judith Viorst
Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown
I'm as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth. - Kris Kringle
The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw
Harmony makes small things grow; lack of it makes great things decay. - Sallust
It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown
Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown
A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter
I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence
I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen
I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra
Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him heavily to the ground on top of me. - Mark Twain
A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown
Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash
Stomach: 1. The home of the swallow; 2. A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney
Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer
I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman
All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno
Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby
He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery. - Harold Wilson
E-Z Out Bolt and Stud Extractor: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is 10 times harder than any known drill bit. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw
Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
Zipper: Two rows of unsmiling teeth that often induce laughter in others, especially when inadvertently left open following a trip to the john - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz
see also Aging, Dentist & Religious Sections
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
Dentist Talk
False Teeth
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
 Secret Graduation Gift |  Fish Fingers |  I'll Be Right There |  Redneck Sandals |  Down Under Statue |
 Ventriloquist Isolation |  Dr. Hedgehog |  Flower Frame Heels |  PEI Weather |  Frankfurt Subway Entrance |
 Shopping With Your Husband |  Where is Waldo? |  Costco Beach Towel |  Handwritting |  July 4th Balloon |
05-Jul-2022 |