Cleared to Land

Blessings to Saudi Air from Dallas ATC


Dallas ATC: “Tower to Saudi Air 911. You are cleared to land Eastbound on runway 9R.”

Saudi Air: “Thank you, Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on Infidel’s runway 9R. Allah Be Praised!”

Dallas ATC: “Tower to Iran Air 711. You are cleared to land Westbound on runway 9R.”

Iran Air: “Thank you, Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on Infidel’s runway 9R. Allah Is Great!”

Pause:   Static ...............

Saudi Air: “DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!”

Dallas ATC: “Go ahead, Saudi Air 911.”

Saudi Air: “YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!”

Dallas ATC: “Well bless your hearts. Y’all be careful now and tell Allah “hey” for us, ya hear?”


QuotaBills
Don't just fly, soar. - Walt Disney

Breathing dreams like air. - F Scott Fitzgerald

Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

On wings of wind came flying all abroad. - Alexander Pope

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

The shell must break before the bird can fly. - Unknown

Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. - Lord Kelvin

Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness. - Alejandro Jodorowsky

If you cannot teach me to fly, teach me to sing. - J M Barrie

The press is like the air, a chartered libertine. - William Pitt The Elder

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

Flight attendants don't die, they just fly higher. - Unknown

Flying without feathers is not easy; my wings have no feathers. - Plautus

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

I have wings on the back of my shoulders and I'm ready to fly. - Pamela Laskin

All my life I thought air was free... until I bought a bag of chips. - Unknown

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it. - J.M. Barrie

In the dark days of your life, you will need the wings of hope to continue flying. - Mehmet M Ildan

Time passes too fast. Like a hummingbird flying by, it's just a blur to my eyes. - Amanda Leigh

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity. - G K Chesterton

Nothing can move a man who is paid by the hour; how sweet the flight of time seems to his calm mind. - Charles D Warner

I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know so it goes flying anyway. - Mary Kay Ash

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. - Robert Orben

He who would learn to fly on day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. - Joel Hawes

I can almost feel the wind beneath my wings; I can almost taste the thrill of flying away from this small town and never looking back. - Tessa Hall

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. - Jarod Kintz


see also   Air Traffic  Section
A Special Kind of Stupid
Smart Flight Attendant
Why We Live in Texas

 

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16-Jan-2021