A visiting minister decided to begin his sermon with an opening prayer.
“Dear Lord,” he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “Without you we are but dust...”
He would have continued, but at that moment a little girl leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, “Mommy, what is butt dust?”
Church was pretty much over at that point...
Excuse My Dust - Dorothy Parker
Religion altars the mind. - Tony Follari
My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama
Dust thou art, to dust returnest. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo
Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Every religion at its core is exclusive. - Ravi Zacharias
The proverb answers where the sermon fails. - W.G. Simms
Holy Mackerel: Fish served at Church supper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. - Napoleon Bonaparte
A sermon is no sermon in which I cannot hear the heartbeat. - Henry Longfellow
No minister ever stood, or could stand, against public opinion. - Robert Peel
Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein
To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias
There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw
I preach as never sure to preach again, and as a dying man to dying men. - Richard Baxter
But from this earth, this grave, this dust, my God shall raise me up, I trust. - Walter Raleigh
A sense of humor, properly developed, is superior to any religion so far devised. - Tom Robbins
A religion that gives nothing, costs nothing, and suffers nothing, is worth nothing. - Martin Luther
The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb
I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham
A man must be orthodox upon most things or he will never have time to preach his own heresy. - G K Chesterton
Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson
Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner
When you come to religion, you come to a place. When you come to Jesus Christ, you come to a person. - Ravi Zacharias
If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden
He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker
I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball
Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. - Billy Sunday
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover
Audience laughter, when it's deserved, acts as a sort of fairy dust that makes funny moments not just funny, but joyous. - Graham Linehan
Preaching is not the art of making a sermon and delivering it. Preaching is the art of making a preacher and delivering him. - Bishop Quayle
It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett
I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler
Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell
Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James
Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' - Conan O'Brien
God is on the lookout today for a man who will be quiet enough to get a message from Him, brave enough to preach it, and honest enough to live it. - Vance Havner
Religion altars the mind. - Tony Follari
My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama
Dust thou art, to dust returnest. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo
Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Every religion at its core is exclusive. - Ravi Zacharias
The proverb answers where the sermon fails. - W.G. Simms
Holy Mackerel: Fish served at Church supper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. - Napoleon Bonaparte
A sermon is no sermon in which I cannot hear the heartbeat. - Henry Longfellow
No minister ever stood, or could stand, against public opinion. - Robert Peel
Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein
To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias
There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw
I preach as never sure to preach again, and as a dying man to dying men. - Richard Baxter
But from this earth, this grave, this dust, my God shall raise me up, I trust. - Walter Raleigh
A sense of humor, properly developed, is superior to any religion so far devised. - Tom Robbins
A religion that gives nothing, costs nothing, and suffers nothing, is worth nothing. - Martin Luther
The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb
I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham
A man must be orthodox upon most things or he will never have time to preach his own heresy. - G K Chesterton
Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson
Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner
When you come to religion, you come to a place. When you come to Jesus Christ, you come to a person. - Ravi Zacharias
If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden
He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker
I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball
Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. - Billy Sunday
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover
Audience laughter, when it's deserved, acts as a sort of fairy dust that makes funny moments not just funny, but joyous. - Graham Linehan
Preaching is not the art of making a sermon and delivering it. Preaching is the art of making a preacher and delivering him. - Bishop Quayle
It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett
I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler
Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell
Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James
Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' - Conan O'Brien
God is on the lookout today for a man who will be quiet enough to get a message from Him, brave enough to preach it, and honest enough to live it. - Vance Havner
see also Religious Section
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