Butt Dust
Visiting Preacher’s rapturous sermon
What happens when you try to do something without God

A visiting minister decided to begin his sermon with an opening prayer.

“Dear Lord,” he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “Without you we are but dust...”

He would have continued, but at that moment a little girl leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, “Mommy, what is butt dust?”

Church was pretty much over at that point...


QuotaBills
Excuse My Dust - Dorothy Parker

Religion altars the mind. - Tony Follari

My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

Dust thou art, to dust returnest. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every religion at its core is exclusive. - Ravi Zacharias

The proverb answers where the sermon fails. - W.G. Simms

Holy Mackerel: Fish served at Church supper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. - Napoleon Bonaparte

A sermon is no sermon in which I cannot hear the heartbeat. - Henry Longfellow

No minister ever stood, or could stand, against public opinion. - Robert Peel

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

I preach as never sure to preach again, and as a dying man to dying men. - Richard Baxter

But from this earth, this grave, this dust, my God shall raise me up, I trust. - Walter Raleigh

A sense of humor, properly developed, is superior to any religion so far devised. - Tom Robbins

A religion that gives nothing, costs nothing, and suffers nothing, is worth nothing. - Martin Luther

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

A man must be orthodox upon most things or he will never have time to preach his own heresy. - G K Chesterton

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

When you come to religion, you come to a place. When you come to Jesus Christ, you come to a person. - Ravi Zacharias

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. - Billy Sunday

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

Audience laughter, when it's deserved, acts as a sort of fairy dust that makes funny moments not just funny, but joyous. - Graham Linehan

Preaching is not the art of making a sermon and delivering it. Preaching is the art of making a preacher and delivering him. - Bishop Quayle

It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' - Conan O'Brien

God is on the lookout today for a man who will be quiet enough to get a message from Him, brave enough to preach it, and honest enough to live it. - Vance Havner


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30-Jun-2022