Butt Dust
Visiting Preacher’s rapturous sermon
What happens when you try to do something without God

A visiting minister decided to begin his sermon with an opening prayer.

“Dear Lord,” he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “Without you we are but dust...”

He would have continued, but at that moment a little girl leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, “Mommy, what is butt dust?”

Church was pretty much over at that point...


QuotaBills
Excuse My Dust - Dorothy Parker

Man is incurably religious. - Ravi Zacharias

My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

A good example is the best sermon. - Unknown

Profit: Religious guy who talks to God - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. - The Book of Common Prayer

That great dust-heap called 'history'. - Augustine Birrell

Babylon: What the Preacher does during some sermons - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The dust of exploded beliefs may make a fine sunset. - Geoffrey Madan

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

I once dieted so religiously I quit eating in Church. - Zig Ziglar

Where God has his church, the Devil will have his chapel. - Spanish Proverb

A sermon is no sermon in which I cannot hear the heartbeat. - Henry Longfellow

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

Today's church wants to be raptured from responsibility. - Leonard Ravenhill

Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with. - Thomas Carlyle

No minister ever stood, or could stand, against public opinion. - Robert Peel

When it is a matter of money, all men are of the same religion. - Voltaire

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

To love to preach is one thing; to love to whom you preach is quite another. - D. Martin Lloyd-Jones

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

Democracy is also a form of religion; it is the worship of jackals by jackasses. - H L Mencken

A religion that gives nothing, costs nothing, and suffers nothing, is worth nothing. - Martin Luther

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

No man preaches his sermon well to others if he does not first preach it to his own heart. - John Owen

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

Most people have some sort of religion, at least they know which church they're staying away from. - John Erskine

It's hard for me to imagine why a church that has younger members wouldn't have a blog component. - Mark Batterson

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Some keep the Sabbath going to Church
I keep it, staying at Home
With a Bobolink for a Chorister
And an Orchard for a Dome - Emily Dickinson

To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction. - Joseph Addison


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27-Oct-2021