The Perks of Being 60
Need a more manageable supply of brain cells? Get old...

1. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

2. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

3. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

4. People call at 9 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.

10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.

11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

12. You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.

13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

15. You sing along with elevator music.

16. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.


see also   Aging  Section

 

Love It

Auto Strap

Victorian Bathing Machine

Stork Exhaust

Slap Me Into Next Year

Is This Really Happening?!

Ostrich Bush

Frozen Fish Meal

Bacon Wrapped Onion Rings

T-Rex Shadow

Camel Parking

Cheat of the Year

Born To Be Wild

Why I Wear 2 Masks

Welfare State

Redneck Wedding Cake

Blonde Gears

Party Direction Sign

House 'Broke'rage

'Piece of Cake' Resignation Letter
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25-Sep-2020