Monk’s Fish And Chip Stand

How to help cash flow problems at a monastery


A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work.

Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right next to a scenic vista area popular with tourists. The other monks agreed, and the two put up the stand.

One day a tourist who wanted to offer a compliment asked the monk on duty, “Are you the fish friar?”

“No, sir,” retorted the brother, “I’m the chip monk.”


QuotaBills
All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

The best way to knock the chip off your neighbor's shoulder is to pat him on the back. - Unknown

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker


see also   Christmas  &  Religious  Sections
Celebate or Celebrate?
Chipwrecked
Friar Thumper
Gambling Chips
Greek Monk
Monk On A Rope
Monk’s Christmas Vow
Monk’s Story
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
Tiny Monks

 

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17-Feb-2020