Monk’s Fish And Chip Stand

How to help cash flow problems at a monastery


A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work.

Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right next to a scenic vista area popular with tourists. The other monks agreed, and the two put up the stand.

One day a tourist who wanted to offer a compliment asked the monk on duty, “Are you the fish friar?”

“No, sir,” retorted the brother, “I’m the chip monk.”


QuotaBills
Religion: a great perhaps. - Francois Rabelais

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. - Mark Twain

If men are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it? - Benjamin Franklin

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

Church is the only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members. - William Temple

Democracy is also a form of religion; it is the worship of jackals by jackasses. - H L Mencken

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

Chips have little nutritional value. That's why you need to eat the whole bag. - Bill Murray

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

The first time I sang in the Church choir, two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another. - Jonathan Swift

The best way to knock the chip off your neighbor's shoulder is to pat him on the back. - Unknown

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

Most people have some sort of religion, at least they know which church they're staying away from. - John Erskine

Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. - Billy Sunday

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

Since I got to 80, I've started reading the Bible a lot more. It's kind of like cramming for my finals. - Vincent Watson

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are the same people. - G K Chesterton

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' - Conan O'Brien

The hallmark of religion is to distrust claims made for mortal men. It is in ages of great religious faith that great skepticism can find expression. - Malcolm Muggeridge


see also   Christmas  &  Religious  Sections
Celebate or Celebrate?
Chipwrecked
Friar Thumper
Gambling Chips
Greek Monk
Monk On A Rope
Monk’s Christmas Vow
Monk’s Story
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
Tiny Monks

 

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01-Jun-2020