1. Correct speling is a Must.
2. “Just between you and I” is a Mustn’t. It’s as much of a Mustn’t as “They
telephoned she.”
3. Be sure to never split an infinitive.
4. Don’t dangle with participles: “Running for the bus, a taxi hit my uncle.”
5. The difference between “teach” and “learn” should learn you to pay attention.
Teachers don’t have to pay attention, so they don’t learn; they just teach.
6. When studying grammar, a spiral notebook of well-lined pages are useful.
(This shows that subjects and verbs are enemies.)
7. Don’t never use no double negative. Triple negative are even worst.
8. Always make a pronoun agree with their referent.
9. Beware of the “them-those” trap. For instance, don’t write, “Them apples are
rotten” if they are not.
10. Many people love to use commas, which are not necessary. For instance, “She
ate, the fool” is a comment. “She ate the fool” is correct, if she is a
cannibal.
11. One of the trickiest points in punctuation is to use apostrophe’s correctly.
They are as sensitive as measle’s.
12. Never use “real” when you mean “very.” Therefore: “She is real stupid” shows
that you are very stupid. (This point is real important.)
13. Adjectives are not adverbs. Write careful. (I know that’s hardly.)
14. Question marks can be dynamite. Use them carefully. “You sure are pretty?”
means you are not sure I am pretty. That is an insult.
15. Many a student is undone by “who” and “whom.”
a. “’Whom are you?’ she asked, for she had gone to night school.”
b. If you write “Who’s hand is stroking my thigh?” you’ll never know who’s
pulling whose leg. Such information can be valuable.
16. Avoid the excessive use of exclamation points!!!! It is silly to write,
“Yesterday, I woke up!!!” because that suggests that today you did not, which is
probably true.
17. When you want to say something that indicates anyone, or all of us, the
pronoun “one” is better than “he” or “she.” “One never knows, do one?”
18. Observe the difference between “don’t” and “doesn’t.” It’s shocking to hear
so many high school graduates say “He don’t care.” What they mean, of course, is
“I don’t care.” Their grades proved it.
19. Never write, “heighth” or “weighth.” They just are not righth.
20. Avoid confusion. “How the hippopotamus are you?”
21. “Irregardless” is not in the dictionary. “Hopefully” is – and I hope to God
you never use it.
22. Don’t use “neither” when you mean “either.” Either use “neither” correctly
or don’t use it at all. And don’t use “either” if you mean “ether” neither.
23. Guard against absurd and unnecessary repetitions. This here rule is
especially important for new beginners.
24. A real booby trap to avoid is “when” – especially when a sentence like “I do
not deny I wasn’t afraid” occurs when you mean “I won’t deny I was afraid.” Most
writers are, so they master syntax, which is the only tax that doesn’t cost
money.
25. Don’t forget the crucial difference between “lie” and “lay.”
a. the former takes no object (“I lie in bed”) but the latter must (“Lay that
pistol down, mother”);
b. “To lie” means to express something not true: “to lay” means expressing
something more urgent.
Got it? Now, memorize these laws, plus one more: Be sure to reread anything you
write to make sure you don’t accidentally any words out.
Speech is silver; silence is golden. - Thomas Carlyle
The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert
I'm a supporter of my free speech. - Howard Stern
Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle
Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates
Bulldozing: Going to sleep during a political speech. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin
A sage thing is timely silence, and better than any speech. - Plutarch
We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry
When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. - Luqman
The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal
Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends. - Alphonse de Lamartine
Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion
Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin
Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. - Thomas Carlyle
Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard
The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker
We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde
I am going to give a long speech today. I haven't had time to prepare a short one. - Winston Churchill
Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman
A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie
The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw
German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton
Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky
Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran
I, schooled in misery, know many purifying rites, and I know where speech is proper and where silence. - Aeschylus
Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton
Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown
The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton
The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. - Unknown
Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis
Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards
I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell
No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas
see also Language Section
Books Never Written
Commas Save Lives
Cyberbulbs
Does A Double Positive Equal A Negative?
Double Negative Education
First Impressions
Fluent Sarcasm
I Like Cooking
Little Johnny’s Beautiful Examples
One Thousand Words
Practice Safe Text
Punctuation Matters
 White Out |  Ultimate PC Home Entertainment Center |  Long Rowboat |  Gift Shop for Stray Kids |  GPS Marriage Proposal |
 Hand-Some Baby |  Joined Workout |  Looking The Part |  Redneck Candle |  Redneck Plumbing |
 Flat Spare Tire |  Ink Birds |  Man Of The House |  Ukrainian Model T |  Sunshine State |
 Sons Of Arthritis |  Husband Colors |  Soccer Watch |  Finger Lickin' Good! |  Scottish Variant |
19-Jun-2021 |