1. Correct speling is a Must.
2. “Just between you and I” is a Mustn’t. It’s as much of a Mustn’t as “They
telephoned she.”
3. Be sure to never split an infinitive.
4. Don’t dangle with participles: “Running for the bus, a taxi hit my uncle.”
5. The difference between “teach” and “learn” should learn you to pay attention.
Teachers don’t have to pay attention, so they don’t learn; they just teach.
6. When studying grammar, a spiral notebook of well-lined pages are useful.
(This shows that subjects and verbs are enemies.)
7. Don’t never use no double negative. Triple negative are even worst.
8. Always make a pronoun agree with their referent.
9. Beware of the “them-those” trap. For instance, don’t write, “Them apples are
rotten” if they are not.
10. Many people love to use commas, which are not necessary. For instance, “She
ate, the fool” is a comment. “She ate the fool” is correct, if she is a
cannibal.
11. One of the trickiest points in punctuation is to use apostrophe’s correctly.
They are as sensitive as measle’s.
12. Never use “real” when you mean “very.” Therefore: “She is real stupid” shows
that you are very stupid. (This point is real important.)
13. Adjectives are not adverbs. Write careful. (I know that’s hardly.)
14. Question marks can be dynamite. Use them carefully. “You sure are pretty?”
means you are not sure I am pretty. That is an insult.
15. Many a student is undone by “who” and “whom.”
a. “’Whom are you?’ she asked, for she had gone to night school.”
b. If you write “Who’s hand is stroking my thigh?” you’ll never know who’s
pulling whose leg. Such information can be valuable.
16. Avoid the excessive use of exclamation points!!!! It is silly to write,
“Yesterday, I woke up!!!” because that suggests that today you did not, which is
probably true.
17. When you want to say something that indicates anyone, or all of us, the
pronoun “one” is better than “he” or “she.” “One never knows, do one?”
18. Observe the difference between “don’t” and “doesn’t.” It’s shocking to hear
so many high school graduates say “He don’t care.” What they mean, of course, is
“I don’t care.” Their grades proved it.
19. Never write, “heighth” or “weighth.” They just are not righth.
20. Avoid confusion. “How the hippopotamus are you?”
21. “Irregardless” is not in the dictionary. “Hopefully” is – and I hope to God
you never use it.
22. Don’t use “neither” when you mean “either.” Either use “neither” correctly
or don’t use it at all. And don’t use “either” if you mean “ether” neither.
23. Guard against absurd and unnecessary repetitions. This here rule is
especially important for new beginners.
24. A real booby trap to avoid is “when” – especially when a sentence like “I do
not deny I wasn’t afraid” occurs when you mean “I won’t deny I was afraid.” Most
writers are, so they master syntax, which is the only tax that doesn’t cost
money.
25. Don’t forget the crucial difference between “lie” and “lay.”
a. the former takes no object (“I lie in bed”) but the latter must (“Lay that
pistol down, mother”);
b. “To lie” means to express something not true: “to lay” means expressing
something more urgent.
Got it? Now, memorize these laws, plus one more: Be sure to reread anything you
write to make sure you don’t accidentally any words out.
Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith
The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert
I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown
A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb
Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid
A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin
Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham
All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin
We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats
England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw
Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion
Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine
If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright
A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli
Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard
The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker
The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand
Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy
We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde
Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard
At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden
I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg
Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw
Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown
German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton
Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie
Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman
Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb
Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela
Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton
I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
see also Language Section
Books Never Written
Commas Save Lives
Cyberbulbs
Does A Double Positive Equal A Negative?
Double Negative Education
First Impressions
Fluent Sarcasm
I Like Cooking
Little Johnny’s Beautiful Examples
One Thousand Words
Practice Safe Text
Punctuation Matters
 Kelp Us! |  Croc Lunge |  Tree Awning |  Oversize Load |  Redneck Spoon |
 Cheating |  Be Very Quiet |  Quick Rubik's Cube |  Window Sundial |  Helping Hands |
 Short On Electricity |  Amish Friends |  Spiral Roots |  Tree Sorrow |  Domino Crossing |
 Family Reunion |  Roll Me Over |  Hockey PlayHers |  Concealed Weapon |  Lettuce Face |
20-Nov-2019 |