joe-ks.com

Joan Rivers Quotes
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on

A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of tables, and wake Mommy before noon.

Florida wants to change the state’s motto to attract younger people. They’re thinking about: “More than just a great place to die.”

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, “the man goes on top and the woman underneath.” For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

I don’t exercise. If God wanted me to bend over, he’d have put diamonds on the floor.

I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

I said to my husband, “Why don’t you call out my name when we are making love?”
He said, “I don’t want to wake you up.”

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, “Get the hell off my property.”

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.


see also   Quotes  Section

 

Breathe in the Ocean

Tel Aviv Luxury Penthouse

Caffeine Boosters

Head Path

Proper English

Reese Witherspoon

Phones At Six

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Whiskey Lurks Good

Tetris Couch

Canadian Alphabet

Love Rocks

Benadryl Cumquat

In It For The Long Haul

Ready Soon

Mud Flops

Been Lapped

How To Use The New 1940 Dial Telephone

Garmin Drive
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

17-Oct-2021